


Enigma

by minxyjedi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Bad Boy Ben Solo, Bad Parent Han Solo, Banter, Ben Solo is Not Nice, Ben Solo is a Mess, Ben Solo is a slut, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Good Parent Leia Organa, Hate to Love, IANOWT inspired, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Protective Ben Solo, Psychokinesis, Rey Hates Kylo Ren, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slut Shaming, Smut, Unreliable Narrator, bully ben solo, but it all works out in the end, but then he’s just a slut for rey, rey has superpowers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:41:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27987885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minxyjedi/pseuds/minxyjedi
Summary: "In an alternate universe, maybe you'd be smarter than me, but not this one." snarled Rey.The smirk on Ben’s face widened as he leaned closer."Does that mean that there's an alternate universe where you don't have a stick up your ass?"
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 142
Kudos: 198
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Rey Niima

**Author's Note:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

If you had asked Rey Niima, school was heaven on Earth. It was a guaranteed seven hours away from her foster home with Unkar ( _never_ in a million years would she call him 'Dad'), a free meal at lunch, and people her age that she genuinely enjoyed being around. 

She wasn't necessarily popular, but she did have friends, and that what made school so fun. She had a few close friends that she'd talk to on the regular. Firstly being Rose Tico, a bubbly cheerleader in her grade who was in all of her honor's classes whom she had known for quite a few years. Then there was Poe Dameron, a STEM guy a year her senior who had been in her math and science classes since her freshman year. Lastly was Finn, a charming boy Rey's age who played football for the school, and was quite good at it too. They were all caring, funny, and overall wonderful. So, school was something she looked forward to everyday she would get home. She had never understood why people dreaded going.

Rey was fond of school for a bigger reason, though. For one thing, she was pretty damn good at it, and had a sense of pride knowing that she was close competition for the desired spot for valedictorian. But really, she liked the idea of being able to be successful from all of her hard work, and she _was_ going to be successful, she knew that much.

But although she had friends, fantastic academic scores, and was blessed in other ways, she often felt lonely. Sure, you could blame it on her home situation; it was shitty and miserable, and it would make perfect sense for her to feel so lonely. The thing was, it wasn't that at all.

Rey was a freak.

Well, she didn't hiss at people in the hallways or Naruto run to lunch or anything, but she almost would have preferred being the weird outcast to the cold reality of whatever the hell she actually was. Often, her best coping method was to just not think about it. She would just push away the thoughts, because eventually, they'd fizzle out.

Right...?

But she thought about it all the time, which was ironically what made matters worse. 

In fact, she would dwell on it, and get even more upset, before she made something explode or cause a severe leak in a pipe ... _literally_. 

See, Rey didn't know what exactly to call it, but she had been aware that she could manipulate things with her mind ever since she was ten years old. When she was younger, so many unexplainable things happened, and when Plutt would beat her for whatever reason- usually while intoxicated- she would get so fearful, and walls would cave in or the door would fly off of the hinge. Looking back, she always wondered what would have happened if she had accidentally snapped Plutt's neck at that age, as her power was so raw and uncontrolled. She often wondered what could happen now, too; still, Rey had a heart, and she couldn't live with herself if she killed someone intentionally- even if that person deserved it.

Telling her friends was out of the realm of possibilities. After all, nothing ever happened when she was around them anyway. Usually she was relaxed and airy, not prompting any suspicious behavior, so there really was no reason to tell them. What even would she say if she got the chance? 'I can move things with my mind'? Of course not. They probably would have thought she had gone completely insane. 

Even when Rose had snuck alcohol into her room at a sleepover one night sophomore year and Rey got completely shitfaced, she wasn't open enough to let a secret like that slip out. Rose probably would have laughed anyway. Rey knew it sounded like a fucking joke, which is why she hardly believed it herself. But then, one way or another, her emotions would grow so strong again to where she would levitate off of her bed or break a mirror or something. It was a cruel reminder: she was a _freak_.

Ignoring it was better than facing it anyway.

Rey wasn’t just a freak in that regard, because unlike any other teenager, she couldn't wait for summer to be over. Once again she'd be given five hot meals every week, and she'd get to see her friends every single day, if they had classes together. Much to her disappointment, she didn't really get time to spend with any of them during summer break. Rose went on a month-long trip to Europe, Finn was at football camp, and Poe worked ten hour shifts at a minimum wage job along with taking care of his younger siblings. She had actually considered getting a job too, but Unkar was required to sign the application form and he quickly shot down the idea. He had a 'great' point: who would do all of the things that the _actual_ adult was supposed to do if she was working? She had remembered that a magazine behind him started floating at his denial, but she had quickly concealed her emotions as best as she could and scurried off to her room. Again, she tried her best to not dwell on it too much.

So essentially, Rey had been her caretaker's caretaker the entire summer. She would run errands for him, do the housework, only to be berated at the end of the day. It was exhausting. She usually would take a walk, but it was so damn hot and humid to the point that both places felt like hell in one sense or another.

She counted the days relentlessly; now there was only one day until the first day of school. Thank _God_.

Despite her situation, Rey always did her best to present herself at school. She may have rocked sweats and hoodies a lot of the time, but they always matched her other articles of clothing down to the socks. Her makeup routine was very simple as well, considering her limited collection of makeup from Walgreen's. Mascara and some cherry chap-stick, and on occasion light foundation, was really all she needed to feel her best.

And, before Rey knew it, she was applying her mascara and sliding on her white adidas sneakers faster than the speed of light. The first day of school was always the most exciting day on the school calendar; she got to see her schedule, reunite with her friends, and be able to make new ones. A fresh, new year at Chandrila High was just what she needed.

She had hardly walked down three streets that morning before a voice called her name.

"Rey!" She recognized it as Poe's voice instantly. Turning around, she couldn't help but grin at the familiar Honda Civic, littered with dents and scratches all over. Just like Rey, Poe had very little, but he at least had a family- one that loved him very much. Rey would've taken that over all the money in the world.

"Hey!" greeted the brunette, moving closer to his car until she was standing in front of the car door.

"You looked like you needed a ride," said Poe, "Hop in."

"Thanks," replied Rey, plopping into the passenger's seat with her backpack. Normally she wouldn't have reacted to the high acceleration Poe hit when he drove off, but it had been a month or two since he'd given her a ride home, and she felt herself brace the seat like an eighty year old woman. Poe only laughed. For some reason, no matter how fast Poe went, he never got a ticket or in a wreck. It was almost impressive.

"Plutt treating you alright?" he asked. He kept one hand on the wheel as he zoomed effortlessly down the streets.

"Yeah," Rey lied, "More or less."

"He better be." warned Poe. "Remember, my house is always open if you need it."

"Thank you, I really do appreciate it." thanked Rey, brainstorming a way to change the subject. They weren't far from the school now. "How was work?"

"It was okay." he answered, flipping a turn signal. "Decent work, decent pay- except for the few asshole customers, but that was expected."

"Yeah, I could imagine." chuckled Rey. "I would totally lose my temper, like, every day."

"Oh trust me, I did." scoffed Poe. "Like, who the fuck orders a cheeseburger with _no cheese?!_ And then when you give them a hamburger, because that's what it is, they complain to your manager about it! Like, _c'mon_!"

Rey felt herself naturally laugh for the first time in awhile; it was good to be back.

As he turned down another street, she could make out Chandrila already flooded with students surrounding the building to get their schedules. The anticipation for Rey was so overwhelming, she thought she might just burst a blood vessel. However, she wasn't sure if that was as figurative as it seemed, so she did her best to suppress her anxiety. She was good at hiding it anyway, from all of the years of practice combined with the shame of whatever possessed the world around her to bend at her will. But no- she wouldn't think about that right now.

It was a fresh day, a new start. So much was in store for her; she could feel it. And she wouldn't let _anyone_ , especially herself, get in the way of whatever that was.


	2. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

To say that Rey's morning had been great would have been an understatement. Upon getting her schedule, she had conveniently bumped into Rose near the school entrance before the bell rang, and they had got the chance to catch up with one another. Rose had just driven her new white jeep to school, she told Rey- many, _many_ times- which her dad had bought her for her sixteenth birthday that had just passed. Rey wished her a late happy birthday, Rose said 'thank you', and then they began to compare schedules. Rose apparently had the same first, second, and sixth periods that Rey had. The two had giggled in excitement, rushing off to their first period in the history hallway as soon as the bell rang, continuing to gossip and chat on their walk there. They conversed the entire class, to which the teacher barely paid any mind to. He handed out the syllabus, greeted everyone monotonously, and then sat behind his laptop for the remainder of the time. It was only first period, but Rey had a feeling he was going to be one of her favorite teachers.

Next was English, Rose's favorite class and Rey's least favorite. Rey wasn't necessarily bad at English, but she did remember a time where she had accidentally disintegrated her English homework from pure frustration. She couldn't even come up with an excuse the next day and ended up receiving a zero. That was only once, though, in seventh grade, but she would say that that was a pretty accurate representation of how she felt about it.

The thoughts concerning her hatred for English soon disappeared when she walked into English and was met with Finn, beaming at the two girls from a chair in the back of the classroom. They both returned smiles, rushing over to grab desks near him before they could be taken.

"Finn!" Rose wrapped around Finn, still sitting. She was so short that it hardly looked awkward.

"Hey, Rosie," he laughed at her excitement before she pulled away to sit down. His gaze fell to the desk to his left where Rey was already setting her things down and getting a notebook out. Rose seated herself in front of Rey, next to a girl she knew, and began making conversation while Finn got Rey's attention.

"Hey, Peanut. What's been going on?"

"Nothing, sadly," Rey replied, "Just ready to be back at school."

"Rey, you are the only person I've ever heard say that." joked Finn, nudging her playfully with his elbow.

"I know," twinkled Rey, a dusty pink settling across her cheeks. "I just love the atmosphere, I guess."

"Whatever the hell that means." Finn teased. "Glad I finally have a class with you, though. It's about time!"

"I know, how long has it been, freshman year?" said Rey, "I've really-"

"Alright, everyone, settle down!" called their teacher, Mrs. Kanata. "Let's get into the plan for the year."

Rey was quick to pull out a clean notebook, highlighter set, and a few pens so she could record all of the information she needed. The school donated these to her, and she was going to get her damn use out of them, that's for sure. She hardly talked to Finn or Rose the rest of the class period, since Kanata had a lot of rules about pretty much everything, keeping her thoroughly engaged until the bell rang and Kanata dismissed the class. Finn and Rose bid their farewells, and this time, Rey walked to her next class alone, which was her easy A class, photography.

Her third and fourth periods seemed to breeze by in no time since they turned out to be just as great as her other classes. Kaydel Connix happened to be in her photography class, which was a breath of fresh air considering she didn't know anyone else in that class, as it was mainly freshman and sophomores. Following third period came AP Physics, which she had with Poe. Most of her class was composed of seniors, with one or two people she recognized from her grade. Just like before, Rey's notebook and supplies had came out as soon as each teacher would open their mouth, hastily jotting down anything of importance. At certain points in Physics, she had gotten a bit distracted talking to Poe, but she felt like she got the gist of what was expected. She was just finishing up when the bell rang, signaling for another class change.

"Catch ya later, kid." Poe nodded to Rey before making his way to the door. If she were being honest, it was a bit disappointing that Poe was in a different math class this year, but she was happy she had at least one class with him. She followed suit, waving and smiling at him whilst packing her things back into her bag.

Her next class, calculus, was upstairs which meant she had to pick up the pace a little. Luckily for her, she had left Physics right on time, so she had reached the math hallway with about a minute to spare. She scanned all of the room numbers as she passed each door.

323...324...325...326... **327**. Mr. Kenobi's class.

She strutted in, eyes switching from one side of the classroom to the other to see if she knew anyone. She didn't. Everyone looked like they were all seniors, which wasn't too surprising to Rey, since she _was_ taking advanced courses, after all. Looking around, she wasn't even sure the teacher was present, which was a fairly decent indicator of how this class would be long-term.

Rey quickly chose one of the only empty seats in class up near the front. From all of the seated students' expressions, it seemed like they would have rather been anywhere else than here; some of the people did glance up at her as she moved to the front, but they avoided eye contact like the plague. As soon as she took a seat, the door slammed shut with a loud _thud_ , and everyone in the room snapped their heads to the noise.

"Ooh, my apologies!" said the bearded man stood near the door, chuckling softly to himself. "Didn't mean to startle you."

The class stayed completely silent as he ambled up to his desk at the front of the class.

"I'm Mr. Kenobi, or Mr. K, or Professor Kenobi, etcetera. You may call me anything you like, as long as it isn't obscene." jested Kenobi. Rey was the only one to laugh, prompting a judgmental stare from a girl to her left.

"Now, I do have to take attendance, so if you would just bear with me..." 

Rey could just sense that this man was laid-back. Typically, her math teachers got straight into learning on the first second of the first day of school, assigning loads of homework for the sake of 'refreshing the brain'. But from his introduction, Kenobi seemed like he didn't have much of a plan today; still, she retrieved her note-taking supplies from her bag and placed them on her desk. He began to call out names, slowly and well-enunciated.

"....Armitage Hux?"

"Present."

"Bazine Netal?"

"Here."

"Rey Niima?"

"Here." said Rey, just like everyone else. A few heads turned around to take looks at her like she were in a glass cage at a zoo. It was probably the accent. Most people found her accent alarming, but when you live the majority of your life with a man from Sussex, you can't really help it. Rey was waiting for him to carry on with roll call, but odd enough, he paused, met eyes with her, and grinned widely.

"Ah, you're my junior this year?" There was a twinkle in his eye.

"Er... yes sir? I... I am a junior."

"Awesome. I only have one or two juniors in all of my classes as the rest are seniors; I've heard you're quite brilliant, too! You will excel here, Miss Niima, I just know it." Kenobi gave a light-hearted laugh and turned back to the list of names, but Rey could feel the entire class eyeing her. She certainly wasn't one to disappreciate praise, but she didn't want to be seen as the nerd or teacher's pet, even though, _well_... she sort of was sometimes. 

Kenobi continued listing off the names.

"Ooh," came an unnaturally deep voice from her right in a low whisper. "Harvard bound."

A few snickers from others close-by followed his sarcastic words. Kenobi didn't seemed to notice it.

Peering to see who had spoken, she met eyes with the owner of the voice who fit it perfectly. The boy- or man, maybe he was 18, she didn't know-was smirking down at her, since even while sitting he towered over her. He had a broad body, extremely long legs, and a mane of black hair that was tousled but well-kept. His relaxed, splayed arms really drove in the fact that he was very sure of himself, and arrogant enough to voice whatever he felt at all times. Rey gave him a cold glare before facing the front of the classroom again. 

Kenobi, contrary to what she thought, already had a power point slide ready to highlight some of the key rules and tips for this class. So immersed in her notes, she switched from green highlighter to yellow highlighter to blue, before she took notice of the small tittering coming from a few people from behind her, which was really distracting. Again, she regained her focus and locked back into Kenobi's words.

"And for activity grades you- oh, you know what?" He stopped speaking for a brief moment which made the sniggers more audible. "Let me run to the break room to copy some papers for all of you, I think I ran out of them last period. I won't take long."

He shut the door, gently this time, behind him upon leaving, the tittering growing louder by the second.

"Hey, Rachel." The same voice from before taunted. "Who's this chick? She's hot."

She whipped her head around and her mouth dropped. In his hand was her cellphone somehow, opened to her camera roll, on a selfie of her and Rose. Automatically her face flushed from embarrassment, especially from the enjoyment that so many bystanders were getting from this. _How stupid of her to leave her unlocked phone in an easily_ _reachable side pocket_ _of her backpack_ , she thought to herself, but- then again, how was she supposed to know a creep would take her phone and go through it?

Rey attempted to grasp at it but he recoiled.

"Give it _back_." demanded Rey, hand outstretched. She may have appeared stoic, but on the inside she felt her blood boiling.

"Ooh, you're really convincing me, sweetheart," smirked the boy, phone still tucked in between his fingers. He spoke loud for everyone to hear, "Don't worry, Rachel, I won't show anyone your nudes. They're safe with me."

The laughing was painfully loud this time.

Like a shaken up soda bottle, Rey felt that familiar feeling again; it was tingly, it was scary, and she had to control it. A deep, shaky breath fell from her lips.

"I don't have any nudes!" hissed Rey. "Give it back right now, before-"

"Before what?" He exchanged complacent glances with a ginger boy next to him who only egged him on. "Before Kenobi comes back in and you tattle on me?"

Rey successfully snatched her phone out of his hand, spitting out a firm "Shut _up_." before turning back around to face the front of the class.

If there was one thing Rey absolutely hated, it was being condescended to. She hadn't even done anything to this guy; hell, she didn't even know who he was. He was only puffed-up and showing out because he had a few friends in this class, but it still wasn't an excuse for picking on her out of nowhere.

"Oh!" He held up his hands in faux fear and gasped dramatically, smirking at the redhead and a girl he must have known. "What's your _deal_ , Rachel? Why so serious?"

Turning her head back to the front, she tried to disappear into her notes, pretending to read them over. Hopefully, Kenobi wouldn't be too much longer.

"Hey, pst, Rachel," prodded the boy, nudging her arm. "I like that shirt."

Normally, she would politely correct someone if they had mispronounced her name, since it happened all the time, but she was sure he was doing it on on purpose. Plus, the shirt he was remarking on was just from Goodwill, plain gray and a bit form fitting. Clearly it wasn't an actual compliment, because the grin on his face grew wider before he spoke. 

When she didn't reply, he continued.

"No, really, I do." he assured her. "I didn't know it came in men's."

From all the laughter that erupted from at least five people behind her, Rey didn't even have to look at him to see he was pleased with himself, and she hated it. She was well aware of her small chest, thank you very _much_ , and just as well aware that she had the body of a twelve year old boy, but there was no need to say it. The feeling was continuing to build up, and if she didn't release some tension now, the stupid boy's desk would soon probably crumble beneath him. Before she could even think twice about it, she retorted,

"Only you come in men."

Rey certainly wasn't homophobic, but she knew nothing would hurt a straight high school boy's ego more than a comment about his sexuality-and, to her surprise, just as many people, if not more, laughed at her comeback as they did to his initial comment. Now, it was her turn to sit up straight in her chair and sneer at him. When she saw his face, she couldn't have been more satisfied; he looked utterly annoyed.

"Good one," commented the boy with an eyeroll, stretching out a long leg while leaning back in his seat. "See, Rachel, you should joke around more, even if you're not funny."

Two could play at this game.

" _Really_?" said Rey. "Well, I'm glad you're taking this class, even though it's evident that if you blew your nose your brain would probably fall out."

"Oh?" chuckled the brunet. "That's cute, how long did it take you to come up with that?"

"Not long, since you're not far from an idiot." returned Rey.

"Yeah, you're right." He stretched his arms out behind his head. "Just a desk away."

The class erupted into more spattered fits of laughter.

"In an alternate universe, maybe you'd be smarter than me, but not this one." snarled Rey.

"Does that mean that there's an alternate universe where you don't have a stick up your ass?"

He got some more loud giggles from that.

"Yeah, and also one where you're not built like a character from Avatar."

That jab got the most appreciation, and as the laughter increased , Rey leaned back smugly with crossed arms.

Many of their peers were really just an audience, oh!-ing and ooh-ing at their quarreling until Kenobi entered the classroom with a fresh stack of papers. The tall boy was in the middle of his sentence, but fell silent as everyone else did when he caught sight of the teacher.

"Glad to see you didn't burn anything down." chuckled Kenobi as he walked in, sitting down at his desk. "Especially you, Ben."

He had made direct eye contact with the boy who she had been arguing with. So that was his name: Ben.

While Kenobi was concerned with passing out papers, Rey couldn't help but to finish what he had started.

"Yeah, he's right." She knew he could hear her. "Too bad I did, with how badly you got burnt."

He shot back a sardonic scowl which sufficed as his response. Rey was pleased. She had won.

After Kenobi finished handing out papers, he briefed all of his points again before giving everyone the cue to pack up early to head to lunch, mentioning that there was no homework and flashing a smile. Rey toyed with her phone, checking that he hadn't fucked anything up since he seemed like that would have been a goal of his. It wasn't like she could think straight either, as his voice was really overcompensating volume for someone who was discussing something with the person right next to him. Rey had never loathed someone this much- well, besides Unkar- and she supposed it was because he embodied all of the worst characteristics a person could have: arrogance, brashness, and the inability to shut up.

The lunch bell rang eventually, herding every teenager into the bustling crowd outside the door. After about half the class had left, Rey rose from her seat, eyes still glued to her phone before she tripped over an unevenness on the floor. A burst of laughter followed it, and when she looked up, she couldn't have said she was surprised to see that the unevenness in the floor was actually Ben's foot.

Kenobi had already gone off to the teacher's work room and everyone except Ben and his ginger friend had just left. She had to fight this battle on her own, but she couldn't say that she wasn't used to that.

"What the fuck is your problem?" bit Rey, blocking the doorway. 

"Move, I have things to do right now, sweetheart." commanded Ben, deep voice laced with slight amusement. A small smirk still played at his lips which only enraged her more.

"Get out of the way." added the redhead. 

"No-" Rey tried to say, but she was pushed aside by both boys as they breezed through her like she wasn't even there. 

Only a few seconds after they left, Rey's anger overflowed and the door to the room slammed shut by itself with the most ear-splitting _bang!_ she had ever heard. For a moment she stood there, mortified, hoping they hadn't heard that, or that no one was watching the security cameras. Her heavy, uneven breathing was the only thing she could hear. Slamming a door may have not been the worst thing that could have happened, but she had always been able to keep her emotions at bay for her last ten years of school, and the fact that she couldn't today was what scared her. On the bright side, she was glad she hadn't sent a backpack flying at Ben's head to give him a concussion, just like when she was about eleven and she actually did give Unkar a concussion from one of the lights on the ceiling when it fell on his head and he passed out. To be fair, he'd been covering her with bruises, but when she was kneeling over his unconscious body, she had never been more horrified in her life. So, at least it wasn't something of that scale. It was just a door slam. Nobody even noticed.

With caution, she carefully twisted the door back open and crept out into the now empty halls for lunch. Rose was probably down there with Finn already waiting for her, and she hated to miss time with her friends.

While she attempted to busy herself with thoughts of fluff and happiness, though, there was only one thought under the tip of the iceberg that was her mind.

Ben had almost provoked what nearly eleven years of abuse had caused. She'd only known him for a day, yet she'd almost smashed his skull in.

The worst part was, Rey didn't know why.

Yeah, he was rude. He was a dick. One hundred percent. But she'd met plenty of dicks in her years, and not one had made her feel emotions so intensely.

If there was one thing Rey hated more than being condescended to, it was being scared, and Ben was terrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, if you're reading this, thank you so much for checking my story out, it literally means the world to me. Thank you for the love on the first chapter too <3 Kudos and comments are what keep me going!


	3. Ben Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

The first week of school had gone by in a blur. Friday couldn't have come any faster, but Rey had plenty of distractions to make it feel that way.

Besides Unkar's drunken rages and egregious amounts of homework, Rey was fixated on a certain something-or, rather, _someone_.

Ever since she'd met Ben, she'd bitched about him to Poe, Finn, and even Kaydel in her photography class. They all had the same reoccurring answer that made her feel a little less alone: Ben was a dick. If he had stopped harassing her after the first day, perhaps she wouldn't have been so captivated with the issue, but it seemed like his favorite past-time was picking an argument with her as much as humanly possible.

Then, she brought it up to Rose when they drove to Starbucks on Friday morning before school. Since competition season was so near, Rose had had daily hours of cheer practice every day that week, and it felt like they had only seen each other in classes and even then, they talked scarcely due to Rey's dire need to pay attention. Plus, Rose had the lunch before Rey, so she couldn't even talk to her there. Maybe Rey had mentioned him in English a time or two, but she obviously did not elaborate based on Rose's reaction that morning.

"I usually do love math, its just this year, you know?" Rey was saying while Rose swerved into a right lane to get onto her exit. Glancing over her shoulder, she relaxed back into her seat to raise an eyebrow at her friend.

"Why?" Rose inquired, "Shitty teacher?"

"No," sighed Rey, "He's great. There's just this guy who's priority is to ruin my day every single day."

"Oh yeah, you said something about him," said Rose. "He's still bothering you? Is he a creep or something?"

"Well, no, he's just a dick." she explained. "Like, on Tuesday, he stole my notebook when I went to the bathroom and everyone was laughing at me, and when I tried to ask for it back, he laughed at me too and kept it until the very end of the class! And he just argues with me all the time, like, trying to start a fight f-"

"Who even is he?" asked Rose as she pulled into the Starbucks line that was at least fifteen cars long. Good thing they'd gotten there early.

"His name's Ben." Rey answered. "He's a senior."

"Huh... Ben? What does he look like?"

"Really tall, dark hair, deep voice, sort of pa-"

"Oh my _GOD_!" Rose gasped, startling the other girl in her seat. "Ben fucking _Solo_?! Not what I expected."

"Ben...Ben Solo?"

"Yes!" Her eyes were as wide as saucers. "He throws the literal best parties like, all the time, 'cause his parents are loaded!"

"What?" Rey crinkled her nose in confusion. "Surely we're not talking about the same Ben-"

"No, no, I'm pretty sure that's him! He's really popular in his grade, but not like, varsity sport player popular or anything. He just hosts all the parties and supplies the drugs and booze, so he's very well-liked."

"How do you know this stuff?"

"I've been to one or two of his parties."

"What?" Rey was astonished. "You guys are friends?"

"Rey, you are so clueless sometimes." Rose rolled her eyes as she edged forward in the line. She had already taken out her debit card. "Just because you go to someone's party doesn't mean you’re their friend, I didn't even actually see him either time. I just went to see my friends. Finn played beer pong with him, though."

"Finn too?" frowned Rey. "Why do you guys even go to those things?"

"It's fun." shrugged Rose with a smile. "And I think it would be good if you went to at least one before we graduate."

"Absolutely not." Rey declined. "Partying is not for me."

"Aww, c'mon, Rey, wouldn't it be nice to not be perfect for once? Have a little bit of fun?"

"No offense, Rose, but drinking or smoking until I'm unconscious is not my idea of fun."

Rose sighed defeatedly and rolled down her window. "Fine, fair enough, what do you want?"

"Huh?"

"To drink."

"Oh, nothing, I don't have any-"

"Hi, welcome to Starbucks, what can I get started for you?" sang the cheery employee through the static of the speaker.

"What do you want?" prodded Rose.

"I don't want anything, I don't have any money on me."

"I know, Rey, just tell me what you want."

"No, it's okay I-"

Rose gave up and turned to the speaker.

"I'll take a pink drink and an oatmilk honey latte."

Rey smiled at the sentiment. Oatmilk honey lattes were her favorite.

The rest of the morning had gone pretty smoothly. Of course, it was junior year, so the work was definitely challenging, but considering it was just the first week, she had performed well. Everyday she had walked down to the library and studied for at least an hour and a half resulting in a 4.7 GPA so far, so she was satisfied.

Just like the other four days of the week, she walked into fifth period everyday to endure Ben and his antics. Everything he did seemed to escape to Kenobi's notice, which was extremely frustrating because she was really hoping that he'd see him one way or another and get onto him. Rey felt silly. It was almost like she was in fourth grade again- but Ben was truly the one acting childish.

Rey hadn't talked back to him nearly as much as she did on the first day. After the door incident, she was gravely afraid of something like that- or worse- taking place in front of a full classroom. Sure, nobody would have any evidence to suspect her of anything, but she really didn't want to hurt anyone, and frankly, Ben made her want to hurt someone. As a result, she distanced herself as best as she could, sitting as far as possible from him in the classroom, ignoring him when he made comments, and ignoring his urging gaze that she would sometimes catch from the corner of her eye. He was probably just trying to intimidate her. Little did he know, he did intimidate her, but for an explicit reason in a completely different ballpark.

Rey had become wiser and started to arrive early to calculus after Monday so she wouldn't be stuck with a possibly unfortunate seat next to Ben or any of his asshole friends. She would usually get there early, sit on the far left of the class, and he and his friends would stay on the right side and though he would still annoy her in intervals, Rey could handle that. As long as it wasn't constant, she could stand to ignore him for a class period.

Like she had done for the last four days, she sat down and began to prepare her class materials in the few minutes left before the bell rang. 

The bell sounded and in came Mr. Kenobi, as mellow as ever, followed by Ben and another kid in their class.

Ben, instead of sitting down next to his redheaded friend- which she found out was named Armitage- and his other group of sidekicks, hubristically took the empty seat next to her. While doing so, he shot glances and snickers at his friends which Rey could only assume were pertaining to herself. Internally, she groaned, but continued to ignore him while she began to do the equations that Kenobi had set up on the board.

Kenobi had already taught all of his lectures for the week, so he simply assigned everyone some paper work and wished them a good weekend. The worksheet was due on Monday, so that meant that pretty much half of the class would not be doing it until the day of. Rey, having nothing better to do, promptly got to work on the problems before Kenobi could even sit down at his desk.

Rey was punching numbers in to her calculator when she caught sight of his gargantuan figure move in his seat to face her direction from her peripheral vision. She braced herself.

"Rachel, hey, can you help me with this one?"

His tone was still the same as ever: sultry, prideful, and a little bit sardonic. She didn't answer; she didn't have to. At least everyone else was absorbed in their own conversations, so he wouldn't get the chance to make her the laughing stock of the class.

" _Hello_ , Rachel, can you hear me?"

For the first time, she corrected him.

"It's Rey." deadpanned Rey without looking up from her calculator. He was quiet for a moment.

"Alright, can you help me or what?"

"No," Rey still wasn't looking at him although she could tell he was staring right at her eyes. "You can ask someone else."

A noise that sounded like a bitter laugh erupted from him. "You're right here, why would I ask someone else?"

At that, she remembered what Rose had told her earlier and finally saw what perfect sense it made. No wonder why he was such a pompous dick, it was because he'd had everything handed to him his entire fucking life. His parents probably remind him how great he is all the time and then let him invite a hundred teenagers to trash his house on the weekends; now she was totally convinced that Rose was referring to the same Ben.

It was funny how he dressed casual though, in some dress pants and a color-block button-up. His clothes were nice, but he wasn't adorned with Gucci or anything the rich kids would typically wear, and Rey would've thought somebody like him would have found great pleasure in flexing their riches on as many people as possible.

Rey finally met his eyes coldly. "Because you're a dick and I don't want to help you."

He struggled to hold down a sly smirk and masked it with surprise. "A dick? Why, Rachel, why would you ever-"

"It's Rey." she cut him off.

"I'm sorry, but sweetheart, y'know I'm just messing around." he assured her, the smirk finally presenting itself.

"Yeah, sure," mumbled Rey. "Get someone else to help you."

"C'mon, don't be like that," Ben chuckled. "I can't get help from Little Miss Perfect just once?"

Rey's jaw tightened and she stopped on the problem she was doing.

"You don't know me."

"Well, I can make pretty good guesses since your Kenobi's little pet, bu-"

"Shut _up_." spat Rey. She could feel her body temperature rising. It was like he knew exactly which buttons to push to piss her off.

" _Woah_ , no need to get so feisty with me."

He wasn't even glancing back at his friends to get laughs or approval from them. From what it seemed, he was bickering with her for his own personal enjoyment and she honestly couldn't fathom why.

Rey ignored his jab and continued on her paper. She took a deep breath in order to slowly release the building tension in her body. When she fell silent, Ben grunted and grabbed his phone from his bookbag, opening it up to a text conversation. He typed the rest of the class period, speaking to his friends across the classroom sporadically- which Kenobi ignored- and sending Rey little sideway glances. It was eating Rey up and she could barely focus on the last equation of the paper, and she hated that she cared.

When the bell finally rang, she couldn't get out of there fast enough. But before she could, Ben had to make one final comment, this time loud for their surrounding peers to hear.

"Have a good weekend, sticks."

That was a new one.

Someone behind them snorted. Haha. Body shaming. _So funny_.

She huffed and stormed out of the class to get to the cafeteria. When she got there, Poe was already waiting for her. She had gotten used to spending lunch with Poe, and she honestly preferred it to last year's lunch with Finn, Rose and their jock friends. With Poe, she could completely relax, and he just so happened to be her number one go-to for ranting.

"I just don't get it!" exclaimed Rey. "Like, what did I do to make him hate me so much? Why is he so fucking set on making me miserable?"

Scarfing down a fry, Poe watched her intently with a knowing smile edging his lips.

"What? Why are you smiling?"

"Because Solo has always been kind of a dick," replied Poe, "-but I've never witnessed him stoop to that level. So it leads me to believe..."

"What? What is it?"

"-That he's just five years old and he's actually interested in you."

Rey stared at him incredulously. "You must be joking."

"Hey, it's not as far-fetched as you might think." said Poe.

The girl paused for a moment before she took a sip of her water. "Whatever... are you doing anything this weekend?"

"Yeah, I have to pick up two shifts." he responded. "Sorry, kid."

"It's fine." sighed Rey, "Maybe Rose and Finn will be available."

"Well, I heard Finn's going to that back-to-school party, so-"

"What?" Rey's eyes went wide.

"....Yeah?" Poe's voice was laced with confusion.

"Where's it at? When?"

"Uh, I don't know?" Poe shoved another fry in his mouth, his eyes squinted in suspicion. "Since when have you been interested in parties?"

"I'm not, it's just that I was wondering if it was at...uh.." She stopped herself, even though she knew exactly what she was going to say.

"What?" he questioned.

"Nothing, nothing, just.. curious."

"You know, maybe you should go to a party," he suggested as if she had never thought of it before. Rey spooned applesauce into her mouth and audibly scoffed. Nevertheless, he continued.

"No, seriously, it would be good for you to loosen up, you're always so hard on yourself."

"Yeah," muttered Rey. "I guess."

Moments later, the lunch bell rang, sending the cafeteria into a flurry of chaos. The two bid each other farewells after returning their lunch trays, and Rey began to make her way to her College and Career Readiness class, which had Rose in it.

Upon arriving, the brunette plopped down at her seat and greeted Rose who appeared to be extra cheerful today. Their teacher, Professor Jabba, began to drone on about their upcoming unit test which Rey had already taken note of several times that week. When he was turned to the board, Rey leaned over to whisper to Rose,

"Hey, are you going to that back-to-school party?"

"How'd you know about that?" asked Rose. "I just found out about it like, last period."

"Um, Poe." answered Rey. "But are you going?"

"Yeah. So is Finn. Is Poe going?"

"I don't know." said Rey quickly, refocusing to her original point. "Where is it at and when?"

"Not sure. They never drop the address until a few hours before. But it is Saturday night, I know that much." Rose, just like Poe, tilted an eyebrow up at her. "Why, are you interested or something? I could pick you up, if you wanted-"

"No, no, I'm good." She shook her head. "Just wondering."

A giggle came from Rose. "Rey, there's a reason, just tell me."

Sighing, she confessed, "I was just making sure you're not going to Solo's. I don't think it would be safe."

"Oh, please, even if it's his, who cares?" snorted Rose. "And what better revenge is there than leeching off of someone's alc and weed while fucking up their house?"

"I guess." shrugged Rey. "Have fun."

"If you change your mind, call me." said Rose with a wink, forcing Rey to feign a smile before tuning back into whatever Jabba was saying.

The fact that Rey considered it for a moment disgusted her. No, she would not be going to some party to hang around a bunch of sweaty kids while they danced in a heap in some wealthy kid's pristine living room that would most likely be trashed by morning. No, she would not be grinding on some guy while drunk, and no, she would not give herself the chance to do anything else of that sort. 

And most of all, no, she would not go if there were any chance that Ben Solo would be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for kudos!! sorry this chapter's so short lol but next chapter is when things really get interesting ;)


	4. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

It was around ten that morning when Rey found her way down to her local shady mini-mart to retrieve the items of Unkar's grocery list, which consisted of deli meat, cigarettes, chips, and a six pack of bud light. Although she hated being treated like a pack mule, she held onto the thought that Unkar would be going out of town for the weekend to visit 'co-workers' very tightly, as it was the only thought keeping her sane as of now. It was likely that Plutt was probably doing something illicit, but she honestly didn't care. She warmly welcomed any chance of him being away from home.

She shoveled some chip bags from the shelf into the boxy basket, moving onto the next row before feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket. Curiously, she peered at the screen to see Rose's name as a text message notification and opened it.

**_pls come tonight it'll be fun i promise_ **

Rey stared at the screen and chewed her lip. With a finger pattering across the keyboard, she responded.

**_I really don't think it's a good idea_ **

The three dots danced across the bottom part of the screen as Rose typed.

**_omg but we'd have sm fun n finn is coming too he'd love to see u_ **

Rey made short work of her answer once again.

**_I can hang out with you guys another time_ **

Rey tucked her phone back in her pocket with a huff of annoyance. Continuing with her shopping, she drifted over to the beer aisle where she hoisted a six pack into her basket like she had done many a time. The familiar buzz of her phone returned. Rose had replied in a string of text messages, all with various emoticons attached.

**_rey i'm going to be honest w u this cute senior invited me and i need a wingwoman realllyyyyy bad 🥺🥺_ **

**_and i don't want to get in a wreck after i drink and finn is driving himself and u have ur license don't u 👀👀_ **

**_but mostly i want u to meet people bc u need to get out of ur shell a little bit more_ **

After reading all of the messages, she sighed and thought about what to say back. While she was thinking, another text from Rose came in.

**_and bc ik u care it's not at solo's it's at this soccer girl's house and she's rlly nice_ **

In all honesty, that did convince her a whole lot more, but she wasn't fully set on agreeing. Pondering it a bit more, she considered the fact that Rose was her best friend and being there for her was what she was _supposed_ to do as one of her closest friends. Rose had been there for her plenty of times before, anyway. Plus, if she had to live with the fact that Rose had perished in a car accident because she was intoxicated behind the wheel or taken advantage of by some creep, she could foresee that she would've wished she had just gone to the damn party. Reluctantly, she typed her reply.

**_Okay, what time are you going to pick me up?_ **

Rose texted back instantly.

**_yay!! i'll drop by at nine_ **

Rey scanned over the text again, before sending a thumbs up emoji. A shaky breath left her. She hoped she wouldn't regret this.

Resuming with her shopping, the party was all she could think about, or stress about, to be more specific. Rey had definitely tried drugs and alcohol prior, but she hadn't ever gotten into a repetitive cycle with any substance for two main reasons. One being that she had an abusive alcoholic caretaker and two being that she had no intention of steering herself away from success with the aid of addiction, and she was well aware that's what would be going down at an unsupervised high school party. On the other hand, she could just reject drinks if people tried to offer her anything. She only wanted to be there for Rose after all.

The day passed slowly since Rey really had nothing exciting to do except worry. The chores were all finished by around seven, leaving Rey plenty of time to study and take a shower. Although she was used to having minor anxiety all the time, she wasn't accustomed to how tense she was today. Countless times she had thought of texting Rose to change her answer, but decided against it because she didn't want to be seen as flaky.

After spending an hour of trying to look over her notes but failing miserably from how distracted she was, she closed her notes and neatly tucked them back into her bag. She then fished her only towel from her tiny drawer and picked up some athletic shorts and a t shirt to change into after her shower. For a quick second she mulled over her fashion choice but stopped herself; even if the party was formal, it's not like Rey would've had anything of that sort to wear in the first place.

At around five minutes to nine when Rey had just changed, her phone chimed with a notification from Rose.

_**heyyy im outside** _

Her shoes slipped onto her feet following her socks, and she strode to the door whilst checking her pockets to make sure she had everything she needed. With a quick turn of her key she locked the door and headed to the parking lot to find Rose's car that sat drastically out of place next to all of the junky cars that belonged to the apartment residents.

"Oh my god, I am so hungry." complained Rose when Rey had climbed into the passenger seat. "I'm gonna stop at Smoothie King if you don't mind."

"Oh, of course not," she agreed. "What time does the party start?"

"Nine." answered Rose, "But we have to be fashionably late."

A laugh escaped Rey as Rose drove off, but she could tell that Rey was anxious.

"Hey, it's gonna be fun, okay? I promise." assured Rose, her eyes switching from Rey to the road in front of her. "When we get there, I'll introduce you to some people. They'll love you."

"Oh no, it's fine," The brunette shook her head. "I'm just coming to make sure you're safe."

"I'm going to be completely honest with you, I'm probably gonna go home with that guy tonight, so-"

"What?" Rey cut her off. "You said you wanted me to drive you home."

"Well, that's the plan, but things can change." giggled Rose with a playful shimmy in her seat.

"Whatever," sighed Rey, "I don't know how you talked me into this. I hate this type of shit."

"I know, but I'm glad you're going! And- if you don't like it, I won't make you go to one again, 'mkay?" chirped Rose whilst entering the Smoothie King drive-thru. Pulling up, she began to eye the menu, taking her time as she contemplated each option. Now, Rey was _really_ beginning to feel anxious; there was no way she could go back now. 

Once Rose had received her smoothie- and bought Rey her own as a distraction- she handed Rey her phone and ordered her to play her Spotify playlists. The rest of the way there, the two girls danced to the pop music that blared through the speakers, and Rey was having such a good time to the point where she forgot she was ever nervous.

Fifteen minutes later, Rose pulled into a lavish neighborhood lined with three story mansion-like houses that were all manicured and uniformly color-schemed. The Tico house was certainly beautiful too, but Rey had never seen houses like these. It was almost laughable that she lived only twenty minutes away from estates of such grandeur. They didn't appear to be your normal setting for a trashy high school party.

"Bazine lives riiiiight down here." she told Rey, motioning to one of the statuesque manors nonchalantly. So that was the 'nice' soccer girl Rose was talking about earlier? From how Rey perceived her, she was one of Ben's biggest fans from how loud she laughed at anything and everything he said.

"Oh god, Netal?" she groaned. "I think she's in my calculus class."

"What, you don't like her?" Rose switched the gear to park at her spot on the side of the street which was already lined with twenty cars. Her face fell into a frown.

"Er, she's fine... just- actually maybe I have the wrong person." sputtered Rey, yanking the car door open before hopping out. Following her, Rose shrugged and grabbed her keys before leading the way to the front doors, which were just as oversized as the rest of the house. People were walking up alongside of them, a few of which Rose knew and greeted. Rose introduced the two people to Rey, and she politely returned the favor before they made their way inside. Upon entering, Rey couldn't help but notice how teenagers were already slumped across the white couches with dirty shoes on, and dripping liquor carelessly on the untarnished counters as they mixed drinks. A grimace crept onto her face when she caught sight of two people french-kissing as if no one else was in the room, yet no one else really cared. More people were piling in, too, and Rey would've guessed she had seen at least fifty people since she'd entered, and it was only nine forty five.

"I think Finn said he'd be upstairs." Rose told her whilst they weaved through little knits of teenagers, holding onto Rey's arm as she guided her upstairs. Making their way up, Rey ogled at the various groups of people scattered about, engaging in activities that were not the most wholesome to say the least; finally, they walked past a hallway to a back room where Finn was amongst a group of his peers.

Finn's face lit up when the two girls entered.

"Peanut! You made it!" laughed Finn, slapping a hand over Rey's back once standing. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled away to wave at his friends who were all athletes, apparently- and very welcoming as well. A pretty girl in the group motioned her over to sit in the spot next to her, which Rey happily obliged to as it was more appealing than standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"Rey, is it?" confirmed the girl.

"Yeah, you?"

"Jannah, captain of the track team. You'd be a really good sprinter, I can tell."

"Oi Jannah, Baz didn't invite you to recruit people," Finn leaned over into their conversation and flashed a cheeky wink. "Let the girl be,"

"Just saying," Jannah remarked, giving Rey a smile. "Let me know if you'd be interested."

An enthusiastic nod sufficed as Rey's reply. _Maybe parties weren't too bad_ , she thought, _so far everyone had been nice._

Over the course of an hour, Rey continued to get to know more of Finn's friends, time passing by quicker and quicker without her even realizing. One thing she observed about the people drinking or smoking was that they were calm for the most part, which kept her at peace. As time went on, though, more people filtered into their area along with different bottles and baggies that many of Finn's friends accepted eagerly, and she also finally took notice to Rose's absence. Finn was sprawled across one of the lush chairs with a wine cooler in his hand when Rey walked over to him.

"Where'd Rose go?"

"Hm-? Oh, Rose, uhhh... shit, she left to go downstairs a half an hour ago... I think?"

"Thanks for the help." Rey scoffed sarcastically.

"Anytime, _daddy_ ," teased Finn, blowing a very tipsy kiss in her direction.

"You have a ride home?"

"Nah, I'm crashing here for this hangover." He raised the bottle up to her temptingly. "You sure you don't want any?"

"I'll pass," Rey eyerolled at his drunken state. "But thank you."

Once she'd left the back room, she paced out into the hallway. It was a little alarming to Rey how many people were in this house at once, since when she had first arrived there had probably been around seventy in the entire house, but there had to be more than two hundred by now. Many of the people she didn't even recognize, which probably meant they had come from other schools nearby like Tatooine Prep or Naboo High, which also meant that finding Rose would be like playing a tedious game of Where's Waldo. 

Many of the rooms were filled with groups of about five to ten people, all drinking or half-naked or blowing smoke from a blunt. Rey had even sworn she had seen a girl snorting a line in one room as she passed by, but she supposed it wasn't that surprising. In a house like this, there was bound to be plenty of bougie kids off coke.

As she came back down the hallway to round the staircase, a familiar voice rang through her ears from an open room to her left that made her stomach churn.

"Didn't know that prodigy nerds came to ragers in their free time," mocked the deep voice that she had grown to loathe.

She debated on turning around to face him for a moment, but she only hesitated a few seconds before whipping around to meet his eyes, and there he was, long legs stretched across a coffee table in front of him with arms suspended lazily behind his head. Around him were about seven or eight people his age, all appearing wealthy and haughty from how they were dressed and carried themselves. Hadn't Rose _explicitly_ said there would be no Ben Solo?

Typically, Rey would have ignored him, but tonight, she didn't feel like taking his bullshit.

"Fuck off, Solo." Rey bit back, her eyes narrowing. A few people beside him snickered at her words, fueling the mix of emotions she had become accustomed to ever since she had met him. Ben chuckled deeply, bringing a free hand to the coffee table in front of him where he lifted up a strange contraption, almost as if he were offering it to her.

"Sweetheart, maybe you just need to relax," suggested Ben with a small smirk. "I bet if you took a hit, you'd actually smile for the first time in your life."

"Ew, no, not with my bong." gagged a girl beside him who Rey thought she recognized. "She probably has like, a full set of cavities or herpes. You live in those little apartments down on fifth right?"

A girl next to her giggled and nudged her playfully. Rey said nothing, but her eyes flitted back to Ben's. He hastily avoided eye contact, but she noticed that his smirk had fallen, which she had never, ever seen from him before; she continued to stare at him but he didn't return it. Rey hadn't even noticed Armitage before he remarked,

"Dude, I've seen those things, they look like shit."

A few guffaws erupted around the group. Tears brimmed at Rey’s eyes as she struggled with herself to keep her feelings from spilling over.

“Shut... Shut up.” snarled Rey with a breaking voice.

“Oh, no wonder you wear the same three shirts, like, all the time!” chortled the same girl deviously.

A girl which she recognized as Phasma, Rose's cheer captain, piped up, “Is that why you’re so anorexic?”

“I don’t know, why are you such a bitch?” shot back Rey. She could hardly believe that Rose could tolerate her.

A few people gasped with a few “ooh”s chorusing around the group, prompting Phasma to rise up from her seat to tower over the smaller girl. When Rey looked back to Ben, he shied away from eye contact again, staring at the floor, smug expression evaporated, only taking a swig of his beer.

“Why’re you even here, rat?” spat Phasma, walking towards her. “Shouldn’t you be at your little trailer park or wherever your nest is?”

"Trailer park's too nice for her." added Armitage. "Don't you think, Solo?" 

Rey stood firm in her spot. To her surprise, Ben spoke,

"Alright, chill, guys, sh-"

"No, no," Phasma interrupted. "She deserves it, I mean, I can just smell the entitlement on this bitch. You think you're hot shit, huh?"

“You don’t know anything about me.” gritted Rey, the familiar feeling building up within her body, threatening to break loose like a ticking time bomb.

“I do know that you live with that crackhead Plutt who’s always in and out of jail.” Phasma laughed. “You were adopted or whatever, right? Honestly I don’t blame your parents, if my daughter was such a cunt, I wouldn’t want to keep her either."

The overwhelming heat was scorching her insides to the point where she could hardly see straight. 

“Sh-Shut... the fuck _up._ " snarled Rey, a tear escaping to roll down her cheek. She should have left by now. Why the hell was she still standing here?

"No, really," The elder girl continued, "Like, if I had to put up with your uptight ass, I'd probably try to go to jail as much as possible too."

It was about to overflow. All of her senses, emotions, and fibers of being were about to explode if she didn’t get out of there in the next thirty seconds.

Turning on her heel, she bolted down the stairs like hot lightning, down to the first floor where it was just as crowded, if not more. Her veins still flowed with hot anger and she just knew that there was no calming herself down. She needed to leave. Right now.

“Yo, watch where you’re going!” some guy yelled at her when she shot past him. Rey didn’t even look back or apologize.

She was so caught up with herself, she hadn’t even noticed anyone following her, either. 

Spotting a screen door, she made a bee-line through the heaps of sweaty teenagers illuminated by flashing LED lights, shoving past every living soul that was in her way. Once throwing the door open, she was relieved to find that the backyard opened up into the woods, an open space where she couldn’t fuck anything up- noticably, at least. Rey raced towards the wooded area, deep into the thickets of trees to where she could be completely alone, the cruel words of Ben’s friends still surging through her entire body. It felt like she was about to erupt with no way to hold it back.

She tried to take a deep breath to ease the pressure. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. 

No amount of deep breaths could halt what was inevitably coming.

Like flames shooting out of every pore in her skin, she burned red, letting out a roaring scream that she was sure echoed into the next neighborhood. At this, her feet lifted off of the ground, her form levitating a good six feet above the soil as the pressure rushed out of her veins and into the air surrounding her. Her senses were so utterly pervaded by everything in the moment, she hadn't even thought anything of the loud cracking noises until they were each accompanied by massive thuds on the forest floor. 

After every ounce of pent up fury had been released, her body came crashing back down to the dirt and her eyes shot open. A choked breath left her lips at the sight of the sight around her in the ill-lit night.

Three two-hundred foot pine trees laid flat on the ground, still rustling branches from the impact of falling at such a speed. Rey’s eyes became wide, her legs subconsciously backing away in fear as she spluttered out incomprehensible sounds to herself.

Holy _fuck_. There was _no_ way she did _that_.

No, the trees... they were just _old_. And... they all decided to fall at the same time.

That was the answer she wanted to believe, anyway.

It was all too much at once. It was all too much at _all._ Like a toddler, she dropped to the ground, crumpling into a ball whilst sobs racked her body. 

Wiping her eyes through sniffles, she glanced back to the house for a split second, a gasp drawing from her as soon as she could make out the landscape of the dim night illuminated by the party house. But, in front of the house stood a broad silhouetted figure as still as could be- and now it was making its way towards her, _fast_.

Fear overtook her, propelling her back onto her feet again to sprint deeper into the pitch-black forest. From behind, she could hear the person’s feet crunch through the leaves as it gained on her. 

“Rey! Rey, _wait!”_

Her feet only carried her faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for posting so late, i hope you guys don’t hate me too much for the cliffhanger haha :) thank you for reading!!


	5. A Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

The sharp pain of her lungs from her heavy breathing overshadowed her tunnel vision, almost to the point where she felt suffocated. Yet her pace was relentless.

"Stop!" yelled the shrill voice that had been shouting similar requests in the last few minute. "God _fucking_ damnit, _wait!"_

What scared Rey was not that she was being chased by someone into the midst of a dense forest, no, it was the fact that whoever this person was had most definitely just witnessed whatever atrocity Rey had committed in the midst of her rage. Christ, she didn't even have a chance to process it and now she had to deal with whatever twat happened to be floating through at that very moment. 

Her legs were barely touching the ground as she bolted further and further, dodging stray bushes and extruding tree roots only fueled by pure adrenaline. The pounding steps behind her were only getting nearer, but they had been running at full speed for a good two and a half minutes now, and acceleration didn't seem to be possible for Rey anymore.

Just as she was ready to hop over another shrub in her path, her foot caught on a divet deep in the ground. With a short scream, Rey's body careened to the ground in a heap of limbs; at first she was pretty sure she had twisted her ankle or broken a bone, but nevertheless she put in every ounce of effort left to pull herself back up.

Then, a hand roughly snatched her wrist.

"Let me go!" shrieked Rey, thrashing about to no avail. The person's free hand caught her other arm, successfully pinning her down to the ground with both knees on either side of her hips. Whoever this person was, their stature was colossal and muscular in a way she could have only pegged for a person she couldn't quite place at that very moment...

Through her distorted vision, she could see the drapes of inky hair tickling her cheeks from how close they were. Murmurs of a deep, _deep_ voice wafted down from his lips. 

Realization hit her like a truck.

"Ben...?" was all she could manage in a breathless whisper.

Through the dim moonlight that illuminated the highlights of his face, she could make out his eyes, gazing intently at her as if waiting for her to make the next move although she lay helpless beneath him. By now her fear had washed away. Ben was certainly acting unnerving, but for some reason, her instincts made her feel like he wasn't here to hurt her. Still, she wouldn't take any chances.

Regaining her courage, she snarled, "Get off of me."

It was greatly surprising how immediate he obeyed. Rey stood, brushing a coat of dirt off of almost every exposed area of skin from how hard she had fallen; he did the same, rising to his full height, but with no words. It was peculiar to Rey. Sure, he had Ben Solo's plump lips, Ben Solo's Roman nose and Ben Solo's starry spatter of moles, but he definitely wasn't acting like Ben Solo. The Ben Solo that Rey had grown familiar with would have shoved her to the ground, laughed, and maybe even spat on her before making a sharp jab at what a loser she was. But the Ben Solo before her remained expressionless except for a slightly perturbed countenance, no signature smirk anywhere to be seen. Perhaps he was just high. Perhaps him seeing a classmate of his fuck up a few pine trees with her mere mind was a good enough reason to be acting uncharacteristic.

"Why did you chase me?"

"...I wasn't chasing you." His deep voice rumbled. "You just wouldn't stop fucking running."

She scoffed in disbelief. "Yeah, that's sort of what you do when you're being hunted by a monster in the dead of night."

"A monster? _Hunted?"_ A bitter laugh escaped him. "I was trying to help you, I called your name fifty times-"

Annoyed, Rey turned on her heel to start walking back to the house to make a point. "Well forgive me, but you never remember my name, so I don't know how I was supposed to know it was _you!"_ yelled Rey over her shoulder. "And if I knew it was, actually, I'd've run faster!"

The soft pattering of his hasty footsteps became louder until he reached her side, but she didn't look at him out of spite.

"Listen," Ben mirrored her when she picked up the pace. "I know you hate me, just, but can we put that aside right now? I saw the trees. I saw-"

"They were like that before I got there." she defended, still avoiding his eyes. To Rey, it was almost laughable that he wanted to put their differences aside, considering he was the creator of them.

"No, Rey, I saw everything. All of it. The scream, the floating, the falling, all of it." He paused for a moment before continuing, "How did you do that?"

She was no match for his long legs. Every time she would speed up, he would follow along effortlessly, showing her that there was no sign of getting out of this situation any time soon. In a situation like this, what _should_ she do? Deny everything? Tell him to fuck off? Not say anything at all?

His eyes never left her face as they strode back the way they came, as if he was trying to somehow read her in the darkness. When she couldn't stand the silence anymore, she spoke, "I don't have to tell you anything."

"You're so right." said Ben. "Which is why I have a way of getting you to."

From the sheer absurdity and arrogance of what he had said, Rey slowed her steps and glanced over to meet his eyes and was still shocked at the boy before her, who had his eyes locked on her face. No mockery, no teasing, no immature bullshit, just an expressionless leer that made her feel rather uneasy. Honestly, she preferred the Ben Solo in math class; he may have been snide, cocky, and downright mean, but at least she could see how he was feeling. With this kind of uncomfortable stare, he could be planning to murder her and she wouldn't have a clue.

"I doubt it." Rey mumbled, keeping her eyes glued to what was in front of her, speed-walking as fast as she could once again. She could see the house by now, still obscenely bright for such a late hour. All of a sudden, she remembered: Rose. She had become so caught up in everything, she had completely slipped her mind. Guilt was already starting to eat her up.

Earlier, Rose had mentioned that 'things could change', but Rey was well aware that Rose didn't always have the best judgment. Considering Rose was probably drunk out of her mind too, it made her sick to her stomach; plus, she wasn't in the mood to deal with whatever sick tricks Solo had up his sleeve.

"I have to get back to my friend anyway, so you can toy with me some other time, because I'm busy right now, alright?" snapped Rey, quickening to a jog. It wasn't too alarming when Solo followed suit, keeping up to her with no problem.

"Who's your friend?" asked Ben.

"The girl you called hot on the first day of school."

"What?"

" _Nevermind_." panted Rey. "Just leave me alone."

"Not until you tell me about what it is that you did." he spurred

Remaining silent, Rey sped up, heading straight for the open backyard that was laid out in front of them. To her frustration, so did Ben.

"Alright, suit yourself. If you want me to tell everyone about it, I will."

The girl stopped dead in her tracks although she was so near to the house. He did the same which only fueled how frustrated- or more like _angry,_ she was becoming. She was on a mission to make sure her best friend wasn't getting date raped, and this bloke had the audacity to blackmail her? Rey wanted to hit him, kick him, but she knew she was no match. She settled for words instead.

"Fine, Solo. Tell everyone if you must. You're an entitled piece of shit who thinks anyone and everyone will bend at your will, and maybe most people will, but not me. What are you going to say, anyway? That I blew up trees? You might be popular, but no one- and I mean _no one_ will believe you... Fucking hell, this has been one of the worst days of my life, and it's all because of _you."_

Rey had never seen Solo so speechless.

"Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to call my friend, and I'm going to try and save her from whatever she's getting into right now."

Whipping out her cellphone, she rung Rose, anticipating her to neglect the call. She was relieved when she heard her voice.

"Hey, what's up? Is everything okay?" Rose's static and rather sober voice flooded into Rey's ears. "Do you need a ride home?"

Ben hadn't continued walking to the house that was only fifty yards away. In fact, he was standing in front of Rey, waiting for her to finish her phone call, eyes still glued to Rey's face. He had to be schizophrenic; the Ben Solo she knew would have insulted her one hundred ways back with no mercy, but the Ben Solo in front of her didn't say a word about anything she had dished out.

"Uh, yeah, actually." Rey responded, avoiding Ben's eyes. "You don't need one?"

"Okay, so like, don't be mad at me, but I told Finn you did and he said he'd drive you home if you needed it. I already took my car."

Ben watched her eyebrows furrow with intense curiosity.

"Wh-where are you...?"

"I'm at the senior's house, Matt! Remember him?"

"Oh." Rey's heart sank. "Yeah, him."

"I just got here like, ten minutes ago, so I think things are going to get spicy!" giggled Rose. "Where are you?"

"Er, uh, nowhere. I mean- the house."

The line was quiet for a moment. "It's quiet in there." Rose observed. "You're still having fun?"

"Yeah." Rey lied. "Just tired. I'm going home." From Rose's observation, she became acutely aware of where she was again. It all felt like a fever dream.

"Okay then, well, just call Finn, and he'll get you home."

"Yeah, I will." replied Rey. "Thanks."

"Love you, bye!"

The monotonous noise of the call ending rang through, to which Rey shoved her phone back in her pocket.

"What's up with your friend?" inquired Ben casually.

Rey resumed walking to the house, mumbling out, "None of your concern."

They were edging the backyard which wasn't empty anymore, but only filled with couples who needed space for groping each other.

By the time they had both made it to the porch- which was twice the size of Rey's room- she whirled around to face him.

"Why the hell are you following me, Solo? I know that you're determined to make my life a living hell, but-"

His arm shot up to rest on the wall on the left of her head, boxing her into his presence in a subtle but not so subtle way. "You can't just pretend it didn't happen."

"Oh yeah?" Her patience was thinning. "Why's that?"

"I didn't want it to come to this, but I have video evidence."

With a quick check over her shoulder, Rey was able to confirm that the surrounding people were either too absorbed in their own affairs or too high/intoxicated to hear or think straight. Her eyes refocused to Ben.

"..Y-You're bluffing."

To her horror, Solo dug in his pocket, grabbing his phone before confidently opening it up with a few swipes. He held his phone up to her on a screen of a video playing the last five seconds of her breakdown where she had dropped from midair to the ground. Rey's doe eyes widened fearfully.

"And that can be deleted, if you comply."

Lunging for the phone, Rey’s fingertips grazed it but Solo’s reflexes were too sharp for her to come close to snatching it. He let out a small laugh, shoving it back into his jeans. 

“Couldn’t you have just used your witchcraft to bring it to you?” cracked Ben. There he was. There was the Ben Solo that she knew. 

"Keep your voice down." scolded Rey, eyes shifting to their surroundings. "Delete that. Delete that _right now_ , or-or, or I _swear_ I'll-"

"I will if you tell me." Ben butt in. "All I want to do is learn about it, is that too much to ask?"

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. 

"Alright, _look_ ," whispered Rey in shame. "I don't know. I can't control it, it just... it happens sometimes. I can't give you an answer. I can't teach you magic tricks, if that's what you're after."

In thought, he leaned in a little bit too close to Rey's face absentmindedly while his eyes wandered every area but her. His scent took her off guard, and although she tried not to notice, the fresh, earthy musk that enveloped him was alluring to say the least. Rey instantly reminded herself of how evil and malicious he was, no matter how good he smelled.

"Then I'll help you."

"...Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Have you forgotten how you treated me for the last week?" Rey raised her voice, attracting the stares of the few people nearby, "I can't even believe it's been just a week, because you've made it feel like forever. You make fun of me all the time, you call me every name in the book, you humiliate me. And you apparently pretended to not know my name to make me feel like even more nothing than I already am, even though you obviously know it based on tonight."

He stood up straight again, combing his black locks with his fingers while he attempted to come up with an answer. He shot glares at the people who were ogling, to which they fell back into their own affairs.

"It's complicated, okay? I'm not saying it's right or anything, but if we put all that aside, I could help you control yourself."

Rey seethed silently for a second. How _dare_ he write his behavior off like that. "You're insane. Delete that video."

Solo sighed as if agitated. "I told you my terms."

"What the fuck do you think this is?" she spoke breathlessly. " _Help_ me? How could you possibly do that? You don't even know what's wrong with me."

"I don't, but I can tell there's conflict in you." said Ben, his full lips now straight as a line. "That's your biggest weakness."

" _You don't know me_." hissed Rey. "You're full of _shit_."

"Sure." Ben spoke apathetically, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "137 Nayli Avenue. I'll get you an Uber if you need it. Meet me there at seven p.m. after school Monday or I'll post it. And don’t tell anyone either." 

Rey was sure of her answer. "You're a fucking lunatic."

He watched her, amused, which only propelled her to continue,

"I'm not going to your house. I'm not giving you _anything_." 

"We'll see." said Solo dismissively, turning away from her to walk back inside. "See you later, sweetheart."

Rey peered at him through squinted eyes. For one thing, she was convinced he hated her until about an hour ago, and now he wanted her to come over to his house; and for what, exactly? So she could be a dancing monkey and entertain him with her uncontrollable freak powers? The thought was so degrading, she'd rather just flip him off and have the next time they meet be in class on Monday.

But then again, did she really have a choice? If this got out, she would probably lose all her friends. She'd be a social outcast, and God knows what colleges and universities would think.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be a sacrifice of too much of her time. She had too much to lose. She wouldn't let this dickhead ruin her future.

Reluctantly, she called out to him. He was only a few feet from the entrance.

"...Ben?"

Slowly, he turned around to face her with a smug grin spread across his features. It secretly made her blood boil, but she upheld a steady resting face, only letting out a soft sigh of defeat.

"Shall I give you my address for the Uber now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what y’all think about this chapter, im really curious


	6. Jedison Estates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

Sunday went by painfully slow, her worries consuming her to the point where she wouldn't even touch the stale bread and chips in the kitchenette no matter how hungry she got.

That night went by painfully slow as well; it wasn't uncommon for Rey to have sleepless nights, but usually they wouldn't affect her to the point where she was currently at. It was four-thirty a.m. when she closed her eyes, six when she had opened them, and it felt like she hadn't had a second to enjoy the peaceful silence of the morning before her mind became once again transfixed with the events of the previous forty-eight hours.

She almost missed Unkar. His snide comments and remarks would have definitely taken her mind off of everything but alas, he was still drug dealing- or _something_ , she wasn't 100% sure- somewhere far away.

It was just all too terrifying at once. For one thing, three days ago, she had no idea she could wreak so much havoc from raw, uncontrolled anger like she had at that party. She had certainly had dozens of mishaps throughout the years, but they had never reached that level of destructive. And, to make matters worse, someone had seen it with not just their own eyes, but a camera too- not to mention the person that had seen and recorded it happened to be her least favorite person on the planet for the time being.

So now it was six o' clock, and she was laying motionlessly on her mattress on the floor, trying to scrape some sort of plan together.

And in ten minutes she did.

She had never missed school, despite the lack of parental guidance. School had always been her escape from home, her getaway, her vacation, but at the moment it didn't exactly feel that way. What was so worrying to her was that Ben Solo would confront her about it in front of everyone, or worse, change his mind and expose the video as soon as the school day started. She had to just wait today out. 

So, Rey Niima made a conscious decision to skip school for the first time in her entire life; she wasn't proud of it, but she felt it was only safe.

Her eyes fluttered shut at another feeble attempt to sleep. After rolling around in her bed for an hour and a half, she had finally managed to get some rest- until an abundance of obnoxious notifications from her phone sounded out about forty minutes later, throwing her back into reality. Still drowsy, she squinted at the phone and was shocked to see not one, but three people had texted her.

Finn's was short and simple. **_"_ **8:14:** _Hey peanut, wya? Rose said you're not in class_** "

Poe's was similar, **"8:18: _U okay kid? Finn was asking where u were_ _"_**

When Rey came to Rose's, her eyes widened.

**8:05: _wya reybee???_**

**8:09:** _**r u okay?** _

**8:10:** _**if plutt did something i swear i'll kill him** _

**8:20:** _**rey i literally cannot focus on the this stupid gilded age powerpoint bc i am so worried ab u** _

**8:20:** _**if this is u being rebellious and skipping just tell me so ik ur safe** _

**8:21:** _**bc otherwise idk** _

**8:21:** _**cause i don't think you've ever skipped or slept in** _

After examining each message, Rey suddenly remembered why she was at home again. It was hard to decide on what to say, or whether she should say anything at all, but they seemed worried and she didn't want them, especially Rose, to be upset if she texted back too late. _But,_ she also didn't want to lie.

If she were being honest, she didn't really know what her plan was. Yes, she was going to hide here, but-

Holy shit. She couldn't just skip school. She had given Ben Solo her address and phone number Saturday night and he was expecting her to come over in less than twelve hours.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck._

Rey mentally slapped herself. How could she have been such an idiot?

Regardless, she wasn't going to school now, that's for sure. But his house...?

Maybe, just maybe if she were lucky, she could catch a bus and leave the state so she could live under a different identity. Rey sighed. That was completely out of the realm of possibilities and she didn't know where she would go if she could leave anyway. This whole thing was just rubbish, every bit of it.

Picking her phone back up, she chewed her lip in concentration trying her hardest to come up with an excuse. There was no way _in hell_ she would let on the real reason. So, she sent out variations of "I slept in!! Sorry." to her three friends and slumped back under the covers. Her mind was fogged and her eyelids kept desperately trying to shut, but her mind wouldn't stop nagging her.

Rose texted back right away.

**8:33: _omg u scared me!! do u need a ride?_**

Rey sighed and typed back,

**8:34: _No, I'm good. I'm just going to stay home for the day. I feel sick._**

The three dots in the bubble danced across the screen for awhile for Rose's response to be so short.

**8:36: _that sucks. let me know if u need anything, ok?_**

Rey replied with a 'thanks' before her head hit the pillow again. For once, she wasn't worried about school, or grades, or studying. Right now she was worried about figuring all of this out, and with such a great deal at hand, there really was no perfect solution. She brainstormed for a few minutes, yawning constantly. Her eyes became droopy again, and while her brain fought the urge, her body successfully carried her into sleep again.

When Rey awoke, she felt well-rested and ready for a day of school. That is, until she peered down at her phone to see that it was almost five o' clock and then everything hit her like cold water.

On her lock screen were also another cluster of text messages from when she had been asleep, probably from Rose. Sliding open to her texting app, her heart dropped at the unexpected name.

**3:49: _Why weren't you in fifth period today?_**

**3:50: _Remember what I told you. I don't want to leak it but if you try and run, I'll have no choice._**

Anger flooded all sense of ration she had. There was nothing she hated more than being told what to do, but for some reason this boy was so persistent on doing just that. It was all so confusing. If she didn't go over to his house, she'd be outed and probably kept as a science experiment in a laboratory somewhere, but if she did, who knows what he wanted. Ben Solo was so unpredictable now; she didn't want to be left alone with him for any amount of time. The bubbling frustration welled up inside of her, and she acutely attempted to repress it-

Her shaking hands halted unexpectedly when she caught sight of one of her tennis shoes hurling itself across the room, colliding with the wall before dropping to the floor. Tears welled up in her eyes. None of this was going to get better. She'd either be a closeted freak forever, or a freak in the open where everyone knew what she was capable of. 

For now, she decided on the first option.

Grudgingly, she mulled over what to say before typing.

**4:52: _I'm sick. I can't come._**

Rey responded to her other friends checking in on her, letting them know that she was "alright but just feeling a little bit under the weather". Thankfully, they didn't seem to question her. Just as she was sending a message to Poe, a notification from Ben popped onto her screen. She hesitated, but tapped it at the very last second so it wouldn't disappear.

**4:59: _Bullshit_**

Rey watched in surprise as another text from him came in.

**4:59: _A nerd like you wouldn't miss school for feeling sick, there's no way you coincidentally caught a disease on the day of our arrangement_**

**5:00: _I don't like liars, Rey_**

Rey was hardly shocked at what an arse he was being considering he was trying to convince her to come. Out of frustration, she shot back,

**5:01: _I'm not coming. End of story._**

Her phone was slapped back onto the floor by her mattress, not even being checked to make sure it wasn't cracked. Rising from her bed, her eyes longingly fell to her school things. Rose had sent her pictures of the powerpoints from their classes together, which was reassuring. Hopefully, she couldn't think about her impending doom if she was so wrapped up in her hatred for the essay she had to write.

Once she'd gathered her things, she tried to catch up on each of her classes, going over notes and jotting little blurbs of useful information down in the margins. Unfortunately, Ben truly never left her mind even when she read the same paragraph four times. And she really, really hated it. All she could do was worry. Truly she believed that he was just bluffing so he could coerce her to his house to rape her and chop her up or something of that caliber, but maybe it was for another reason. Maybe, even worse, he wanted to sell her into sex trafficking.

Rey had managed to accomplish note-copying but not much else. With everything packed back into her school bag, Rey sat on the floor, alone, staring at the wall hopelessly.

She was really in deep shit now.

While she was studying, she hardly noticed how much the time flew by until she glanced at her phone that read, "6:35".

She'd wished she hadn't looked, because the next thing her eyes flitted to were the four messages from Ben Solo.

**5:04: _Do you really want to be outed like this?_**

**5:37: _I have some things I need to discuss with you that I can't say over text_**

**5:45: _You're going to regret this_**

**6:29: _I'm sending your Uber now, it'll text you when it gets there. I hope you'll make the right choice_**

Rey's breathing almost stopped. He had to be either really into freak magic or severely mentally unstable, but she guessed they were the same thing. Sure, she was fully aware someone not might know how to comprehend seeing someone move things with their emotions or mind or whatever it was she could do, but she didn't think he would be this invested. In fact, by now, she'd assumed he'd tell the whole world for fun, which was what she was so deathly afraid of. But on the other hand, was going to an antagonizing stranger's house much better? The more she weighed it over, she concluded: she was fucked either way.

A ding came from her phone. With a shaking hand, she picked it up, jaw clenched at the text from an unknown number.

**6:45: _Your Uber is here! Dave is now arriving in a Toyota Corolla._**

It was as if her body went into a coma. Time seemed to pass slowly as she stared aimlessly at the message, biting her twitching lip in thought. There was no way she was getting in that car; this boy probably had awful plans for her. It was obvious to her that she was just a plaything to him, something to manipulate and make fun of simply because he could. Rey had far too much dignity to put herself in such a position.

But, then again, she had far too much intelligence to put herself in the position of being revealed to not just the entire school, but the entire world.

Her eyes fell to her phone again. 6:47. If she was going, she'd better go now.

As she slipped on her shoes and shoved in her phone in her pocket and walked out the door, her mind had finally settled on one vaguely reoccurring thought at once for the first time in the last two days: Rey _despised_ Ben Solo.

Yet she walked outside to the car anyway, where the destination would be his house.

Her nerves were so bad that she was grateful that the driver wasn't huge on small talk. They did exchange "hellos" at the beginning, but that was about it. Rey didn't mind. She was too focused on not stress-vomiting inside this man's car.

For the entire half hour ride she stared out of the window, glancing at her surroundings to calm her. She would have almost enjoyed a ride like this, but then she remembered why. And- just like that, the nausea returned.

When the car turned into 'Jedison Estates', Rey's eyes grew as big as saucers. The houses- which seemed to be an insulting term for these monstrously large residences- reminded her of the ones she had seen in Bazine's neighborhood at the party, only these were somehow more polished and elegant if it were possible. The mansions in Bazine's neighborhood appeared to be mere cottages compared to these palaces. Almost every one they'd passed had at least three stories, a fountain in the yard, and one or two luxury sportscars sitting in six car garages. Rey had known that Ben was rich, sure, but this wasn't rich. This was a level of affluence she had only seen on television- and it was only thirty minutes away from where her dingy apartment was.

Dave seemed to be skeptical too, his head darting around as he inspected every house with squinted eyes.

"Damn, this where you headed?" chuckled the driver, gripping the steering wheel with one hand as he glanced back at her with raised eyebrows. A nervous laugh drew from her lips. She knew about as much as he did.

"Erm, yeah." replied Rey. "137 Nayli, right?"

"'S what the GPS says." he said. "Here it is."

The one he gestured to was as breathtakingly beautiful as the rest. If Rey hadn't known it was Ben Solo's, she would have assumed it was some celebrity's vacation home.

"Uh, are you alright? This is the place, yeah?" asked the man after she had gaped silently for a good five seconds. Blushing, she snapped out of her trance and gave him a curt nod along with a shy smile, swinging open the door and stepping out into the half-acre of front yard which was lined with well-kept shrubbery and picture-perfect green grass. A stone walkway led a windy path to the front door, where five pristine white columns held up the upper floors in front of it.

Rey waved to the driver who repaid her with a smile before heading off into the maze of a neighborhood. Now, she had a bit of time to take it all in and gawk at every part of the house. There had to be at least eight bedrooms with corresponding bathrooms in that thing. There was probably a home movie theatre or a bowling alley somewhere, too, just like the thirty million dollar manor she had seen on a show called 'House Hunters'.

Once she had come to terms with the fact that this house was indeed real, she meandered up the little stone path with caution. No matter how beautiful this house was, she still knew who lived here, so she wouldn't let her guard down for even one second.

The doors appeared to be well over the height of two Reys. She peered around to a window before ringing the doorbell, trying not to panic from the anticipation. If Ben Solo tried anything, she'd jump out of one of the fifty large windows that lined the outside of the house.

When the door handle clicked and began to turn, she froze. Her heart felt like it was going to pump out of her chest.

And, sure enough, there he was, in Nike grey sweatpants and nothing else. Rey immediately averted her eyes away from his exposed torso after getting a reticent look at it, her cheeks shamefully red. Obviously she had known he was built rather large, but she did not expect such chiseled abs and biceps. What made it worse is that he could tell what she was thinking judging by the complacent grin creeping onto his plump lips.

"Ah, Niima, glad you could make it." He motioned for her to come inside, still annoyingly lax. Unenthusiastically, she hauled herself in with crossed arms, eyes on the unscathed marble floor below her. It was strange; gorgeous marble floor and Ben Solo didn't really go together.

"Why am I... Why am I here?" Rey tried to meet his eyes but failed when she caught sight of his sweat-glistened chest. "Do you have a shirt you can put on or something?"

He said nothing, only using two fingers to summon her along with him, wherever he was headed.

"Why am I here?" demanded the brunette firmly, trailing behind him in long strides to meet his short steps. They had left the entrance room and were now travelling down a straight hallway lined with gold-accented doors. The ceilings had to be twice the size of the front doors.

"Be patient." teased Ben, glancing back to smirk at her before rounding the corner to a staircase that curved to meet an additional two floors. 

"Are...Are we alone?" her voice dripped with fear. Yet she followed him up each stairstep with no signs of stopping.

"Yes, and it's for a good reason."

Rey did _not_ like being scared. It made her feel weak, and after seeing the real size of Ben, she knew she would stand no chance against him in a tussle. But now, it was too late.

As they walked up the stairs, she couldn't help but look. Through the sweatpants, she could see the outlines of decent sized quads, along with finely sculpted calves. It wasn't terrible to recognize that he had a nice body, was it? As long as she also recognized that he was a dickhead and treated him as such, she could admire his physique. It was harmless.

Finally, the two reached the top of the first floor and Ben guided her into the first door on the left, which she confirmed was his room when he swung the door open to reveal it. A vast, four post blue bed was surrounded with graphics and posters of all sorts- some signed, some some not- which only accounted for the front wall. Then, on the opposite side was a video game set up that was every teenage boy's wet dream: one four-hundred dollar gaming chair, an unnecessarily large PC desktop sat upon a glamorous glass desk, a Playstation, an Xbox, and a shelf filled to the brim with about a hundred disks of video games. If Poe were here, he would have lost his damn mind.

Two plush chairs sat in the other corner adjacent to the setup. Taking a seat, he eyed her in a way that non-verbally obliged her to do the same.

He took a deep breath in before speaking, "Alright, I'll tell you everything, but you have to trust me."

Rey cocked an eyebrow. "No promises."

"Do you honestly not know how you did that?"

"The.. thing with the trees?" squeaked Rey. "No. No, I didn't, it was an accident-"

His brooding stare made her uncomfortable. It felt like he could see into her soul.

"Do you even know what you are?" interrupted Solo, staring at her curiously.

Her brown eyes lifted to lock with his. "Wh...What I am...?"

Ben's expression was the one from the forest, when he'd abandoned all smugness and arrogance. It could only be described as pure disbelief, and it puzzled Rey.

"You don't know?" whispered Ben, saying it more to himself. Rey suddenly felt uneasy. Was this a prank? Was he being serious? If he joking, he deserved an Oscar for the performance he was putting on right now.

"Know what? What are you talking about?"

"Your abilities? Rey, you're-"

"A freak." snapped Rey. "Yes, I know. Did you bring me here to make fun of me, is that what it-"

_"No."_ Solo boomed, catching her off guard. "Rey, you're a psychokinetic."

She tried to think of something to say, but all that came out was a jumble of words. "I...what... what are you...no, I-I-"

"Does anybody else know?" His words fell out comfortingly and genuine, eyes full of concern. Here again was another side of Ben Solo that was not Ben Solo at all; she knew it wasn't an act, either. They were alone, and he didn't have to treat her so gently, but for some reason now he was. It was almost more confusing than whatever he had just said.

"N-No...No one. No one else." choked out Rey. Damnit. She didn't want to cry in front of him, but she felt tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Not even your parents?" 

A tear slipped down her cheek silently. Ben, a bit alarmed at her reaction, leaned across his chair to be closer to her. Rey stayed still. 

"Hey, I promise I'm only here to help you." soothed Ben, his hand brushing away a strand of hair from her face. She shuddered. No one had ever touched her so tenderly before, and in the moment the thought that it was Ben Solo doing so evaded her mind completely.

But, at the realization, she yanked away from his touch and glared at him through resolved sniffles. "How can you help me? You're making it up, making fun of me. You're...You're lying, there's no way-"

"Shut up and look at that remote. Don't stop looking until I say."

She turned to see where he was pointing, to the thick rectangular remote resting on one of his night stands. Scoffing, she spun around to face him again, offended at how intensely he was staring at it. Is this how he thought that shit with the trees happened?

"Solo, this isn't funny-" began Rey, giving a sideways glance to the remote on the night stand before diverting her full attention to it. She gasped at the sight.

Hovering above the nightstand was the remote, and it was slowly but steadily making it's way through the air towards them. Unashamedly, she ogled at the remote, her gaze following it until it dropped straight into Ben's open hand.

Rey could hardly breathe.

"Do you believe me now?"

"How... how did you..?" 

"You need a teacher." he set the remote on the chair's armrest. "I could help you control it, your anger." 

"Does anybody... know... about you-?" 

"Just my father." said Ben. "My mother did too- she was my mentor. But she died a few years ago." 

"I'm sorry." Rey frowned. "Wait- your mother possessed cycle... cyclekin, uh,-" 

"Psychokinesis." corrected Ben. "It's genetic." 

"No." she gasped. "That means that... one of... my parents... they were psychokinetic too?" 

"How do you not know? Did they never tell you?" 

"Erm, they're dead." 

"Oh." Solo hid his surprise. "Who do you live with?" 

"My foster parent." answered Rey. "But... I've managed to keep it hidden, a-and he's drunk all the time anyway, so he doesn't remember half of the things I say or do." 

"That's awful." said Ben. "I'm... sorry. And, uh, look, I know this isn't a good time, but I'm sorry for being an asshole to you in class. I...I didn't mean for it to get so out of control." 

"Yeah, you should be sorry. You've been a living nightmare for the past week." 

Uncomfortable silence filled the room until Rey sighed, continuing, "But I guess I forgive you. Just- fucking stop it, alright?" 

"Alright." muttered Ben, hand curled over his mouth. 

It was quiet again, before Ben straightened himself out in his chair, cracking his back. "So you good to start now?" 

"Start?" Rey questioned. "Start what?" 

"Your training. You've got a lot to learn." 

He was already leaving her in the dust, getting out of his chair, startling her into standing up to file behind him. 

"Right now...?" Rey followed him out of his room. "It's a school night." 

Ben let out a hearty laugh. "Ah, you really do have a lot to learn." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shiiit this one is long. thanks to everyone who commented (and left kudos) on the last chapter, i read every one of them and i really appreciate the feedback! pls lmk what you think of this one too :)


	7. You’re Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA unreliable narrator tag added bc rey is very confused and loves jumping to conclusions

Rey’s mind was still a frenzy as he led her to another room, this one much larger and more vast but still as prim and spotless as the rest of the house.

She hadn’t even really processed it all.

The person who she had despised so greatly turned out to be a freak, just like she was.

If you had told her a week ago that she would’ve been following Ben Solo’s instructions willingly, she would’ve laughed until she couldn’t breathe. But now, here she was, taking in every word he said.

It was a funny thing, loneliness. 

She hadn’t considered herself lonely in a long time- well, for most of the time, anyway. She had Poe and Rose and Finn. She may have not had bloodline family, but they were her own family all the same, and when she was with them, she felt at home.

And now, in some type of sense she felt that way for none other than the twat who picked on her in math class. She almost felt sick with herself. 

But she couldn’t help it. Now she knew it wasn’t just her. She wasn’t the only freak in the world, and it was comforting in a way she had never experienced. It wasn’t like a warm hug, it wasn’t ‘feeling at home’ necessarily; it was _safe._ A safety that she never knew she’d needed. 

So when he guided her into a workout-type room and pulled out a yoga mat to sit on- for some reason- she complied. She complied, until a question popped up in the back of her head and she blurted out without thinking. 

“Do you hate me?” 

He was grabbing a water bottle from a mini fridge on the other side of the room before he halted at her question.

“Why would I want to help you if I hated you?”

Ben shut the fridge nonchalantly but Rey could only look at him in disbelief. Maybe he was schizophrenic- or perhaps had extreme memory loss. She wasn’t sure how he could’ve forgotten every insult he had thrown at her in the past week.

“You... You know what I’m talking about.”

“I really don’t.”

“I guess it’s just weird to me that you were relentless in upsetting me everyday in class,” said Rey, arms now crossed. “-and now you ‘want to help me’?”

“You’ve realized this has changed everything, right?”

He sat on the floor next to her, his leg brushing against hers. Rey quickly shifted so she wasn’t touching him.

“Well, of course.” Rey scoffed. “But I just wanna know why you were so mean to me?”

“Is that really important right now?”

“Yes, actually. If you want to... be my teacher in whatever this is, then I have to trust you.”

Ben pinched his brow in exasperation. “Well what do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me why.” Rey locked eyes with him firmly. “Just- what did I do to make you hate me so much?”

“I never hated you.” said Ben. “I don’t. It’s just- God, I’m gonna sound like such a fucking idiot-“

“Yeah, probably.” she butted in. “But I want to know. Actually, I deserve to know, it’s been bothering me ever since school started.”

“Alright,” he broke eye contact with her, looking down to the side to where a fringe of black hair fell in front of his eyes. “Just... you don’t know what it’s like to be a failure so you won’t understand.”

“What-? What are you talking about?” Her brows furrowed, and she absentmindedly leaned in a bit closer to him as if she didn’t hear him correctly. 

“Like- you’re smart. It seems like you excel in everything. You... you’re everything a mother or father would want. Your grades are perfect. You don’t get in trouble. Like- shit, I’m failing Kenobi’s class for the second time and you come in and you fucking ace everything without a sweat... I-It’s just fucking unfair you know? When someone is talented, smart, beautiful-“

Rey’s cheeks heated up at that but he was too impassioned in his tangent to stop himself.

“-and you’re the opposite. You’re a disappointment, and you don’t have a future in being a doctor or lawyer like you’re expected to. It just sucks to see someone that’s everything you want to be.” He quickly looked at her again. “But I’m not excusing anything. I’ve realized how fucked up everything was when you yelled at me at Baz’s party, and I won’t do shit to you anymore in class. I promise.”

“You’re... jealous of me?” Rey concluded dubiously. 

“Well, when you put it like that..” grunted Ben. “I... I guess- but not really. Honestly, I don’t fucking know. You seemed like you had a stick up your ass at first, and your perfectness just pissed me off.”

“You really are an asshole.”

Ben glanced at her, a tinge of confusion on his features. 

She continued with a light, defeated sigh, “But you’re all I have in a way.”

“Shit... I guess you’re right.” mumbled Ben, propping his arms back on the polished wooden floor. “Hey, from now on, I swear to you I won’t be one. In or out of school. Just give me one more chance?” 

Chewing her lip in thought, her eyes shot back up to his.

“I just don’t get it.” blurted Rey, not even thinking about what he had said. “You’re popular, you’re rich, have no responsibilities, and you’re jealous of me? I would give literally anything to be in your shoes.”

“That’s what everyone thinks.” said Ben. “And, I’m grateful for financial stability, you know? But it’s not everything. I have no talent. I’m not good at shit, and... and most of all, I have this stupid fucking curse. I mean- you at least know what’s that’s like.”

He took a breath before continuing, “The only person that could teach me was my mother- and, she did, but now she’s gone. She’s gone and my father doesn’t want to deal with me. He’s always gone too, even if he’s still alive. I’m just... not the son he wants. I’m fucking shit at anything academic no matter how hard I try and I know he doesn’t want me. I know he doesn’t love me. I would give away all the money I have to be loved.” 

Her eyes were a bit wide and it was awkwardly silent for a few moments. 

“...But what about your friends?” Rey mentioned. 

“They don’t really care about me, much less love me. I just have the party house and drugs and booze so they latch onto me,” scowled Ben. He was quiet for a moment, his expression conveying that he’s said too much.

“I know how you feel about your parents.” Rey said sincerely. “I never knew either of mine, but know how it feels to lose them. To feel unwanted, unloved. To be so lonely, even with really good friends... I honestly hadn’t realized how alone I’d been until now.”

His eyes were fixed on her, not in a glare, but in a stare where she could look into his eyes and see every part of him. The rest of his face was blank, expressionless. But his eyes conveyed more than any full-faced reaction he could’ve given. 

The boy’s voice was in a hushed yet firm whisper when he finally spoke. “You’re not alone.”

Rey gulped. A small, warm smile graced the corners of her lips. 

“Neither are you.” 

Silence swallowed the room whole, their eyes never leaving each other. Without thinking twice, Rey’s hand crept over to Ben’s larger one that was sprawled across the floor. She could hear his breath hitch. The boy’s eyes flitted to it, and connected their hands by gently extending his fingertips to meet her own. 

The noises of their soft, almost in-sync breathing filled the empty air around them.

The warmth of Ben’s touch swept through her entire body. Through every side of him she had seen, she knew without a doubt that this was the real him. The genuine, pure side of Ben Solo that hadn’t come out of hiding in a long while; that had come out for her. 

“I honestly do want to help you.” Ben interrupted the silence in another whisper. Rey’s hand retracted back into her lap awkwardly. “But only if you want me to.”

“...I do.”

Their gazes lingered on one another for another few moments. Rey had never felt like she knew someone so well, and it felt like she truly had just met him although they’d met days past. It was like his facade had peeled away to reveal the shell of a boy inside. 

For one thing, although her view of him had changed, she still saw him for what he partially was: a spoiled rich boy with privileged tendencies. She couldn’t relate to that in the slightest. On the other hand, she was able to see another part of him for what he truly was: an insecure child with no outlet for his kindled emotions- and Rey had never related to anything more. 

“Alright then.” He rose from the floor abruptly. “This’ll be our first task.”

Her train of thought broke when he placed down the water bottle in front of her.

“Meditation’s important. Focus is really the backbone of being able to control it, which is what you don’t have.”

“Says you!” 

“I’m not talking about note-taking focus. You need to be in tune with the air around you.” he crouched down next to her. “Tense all of your muscles, and then relax them.” 

Rey’s body firmed before she released every tension she hadn’t been aware she been upholding. 

“Good.” he cooed. “Now, close your eyes.” 

She did as he asked reluctantly, her eyes fluttering shut. 

“Okay, now breathe in, and breathe out slowly. With no rush.” 

Rey inhaled deeply. Her breath left her lungs in a prolonged exhale. 

“Now, imagine your thoughts are like stars in the sky.” 

At his words, Rey cracked an eye open suspiciously. “Is this a joke? Are you really-“ 

_“Sh.”_ he cut her off sharply. “You’re a beginner. It’s how my mom explained it to me when I was a child. It worked.” 

Doubtfully, Rey closed her eyes again and did as he said. A black and purple palette painted the insides of her eyelids, splattered with orbs of her thoughts. 

“Now, focus on just one of those stars. Only one. And focus on it until it gets closer, and closer.” 

She heeded his instructions, only getting distracted once or twice until she could really visualize it. 

“You are one with the universe.” affirmed Ben in a soft whisper. “You’re the air that you breathe.” 

His voice was almost echoey, and she almost felt herself grow lighter as he spoke. Floaty, in a way. 

Twitches and shudders began to course through her veins. She was one with the universe; she was the air that she breathed. She was as heavy as a mere atom. 

“Now..” his voice came in a low, sultry whisper. Something pooled in her belly. “Think of the water bottle I placed in front of you. Picture it, in front of you.” 

Very intently, she did.

“You’re one with the atoms that make up the bottle. You and the bottle are one in the same.” 

Rey didn’t doubt it this time, in fact, she put every ounce of energy into focusing on the little plastic bottle sitting a few feet away, her eyes still shut. She could see it- and she felt a type of high along with it. It was a nice feeling. The feeling of airiness, lightness. Tranquility wasn’t something she was accustomed to. 

“I am one in the same...” muttered Rey subconsciously. 

“Good girl.” murmured Solo. “So smart.” 

To her, his voice had melted away mid-sentence. The energy that encompassed her seemed to be her only surroundings. It was what she tasted, heard, felt, saw. It was peace. It was her, and she was it. 

She couldn’t even hear Ben admiring how well she was doing. It was like his voice was miles away. 

Suddenly a little burst of heat shot through the back of her eyelids, and she became a little frightened. Her eyes snapped open, and she caught the last half-second of the bottle suspended in mid-air falling to the floor. 

Her vision was a bit foggy, but she rubbed her eyes and found Ben with a slight, genuine smile stretched across his features. 

“I did that?” asked Rey in disbelief. 

“You did.” smiled Ben. “And you did it in a matter of minutes. Really, really impressive so far. You’ll get the hang of it in a matter of months, I bet.” 

Rey’s heart swelled at that, but she quickly stuffed any appreciative feeling down. She may have felt differently about Ben, but she was here to learn and only learn. 

“That was really nice.” breathed out Rey, a bit dizzy. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so at peace before.” 

“That’s good but I think we should stop there.” Ben said. “You really don’t want to over exert yourself when you’re so new. You should feel a bit tired the first time, too. Do you?” 

“Yeah,” replied Rey. “Light-headed.” 

She grabbed at her phone on the floor, checking the time. 

“It’s getting late. I should probably get back home.” 

For a split second, she could’ve almost pinned Ben for being sad. But his expression of no expression was on back on his face in the blink of an eye. Was Ben really sad that she was going? Or was she imagining things? 

Most importantly, why the fuck did she care? 

“Yeah, yeah totally.” Ben nodded. “I’ll drive you.” 

“What? You can drive?” Rey sounded surprised, and she heard Ben’s real, genuine laugh for the first time. It was a deep, hearty chuckle that was pleasant to her ears, even if she was confused why he was laughing in the first place. 

“Niima, I know we have some ground to cover in our friendship but you gotta have a little bit higher standards for me than that.” cracked Ben. “Of course I can drive.” 

“Why did you get me an Uber then?” 

“I had to go to the gym,” he answered before wiggling his eyebrows. “Oh- you wish I would’ve picked you up? Is that it?” 

“No, if I’m being quite honest.” she replied with no hesitation. “I’m not here for you, Solo.” 

“Ouch,” he pressed a hand to his chest dramatically. “You wound me. But you’re stuck with me for now. Car’s out front, come on.” 

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” scoffed Rey. 

He lead her to the back to the car and for some reason after hearing all of that, it reminded her of when he’d been smoking something at the party when she first saw him. A frown fell across her face.

She climbed into the sportscar with him as he turned it on. She didn’t even want to touch it, or sit in it either. It felt like it was ten times as expensive as her. 

“You really shouldn’t do drugs,” 

From the dim lighting in his car she could see a mischievous smirk grow across his face. He didn’t say anything for a moment as he extended an arm over the back of her seat to pull out of the driveway. 

“Really? I think you should do drugs,” he countered. “It would help you loosen up a little.” 

“Why the hell does everyone say that?” Rey scowled. “They fry your brain and you could get addicted.” 

“Actually, I smoke all the time because it helps me control my shit. Like, I bet if you were baked before you started meditating you could’ve floated right then and there or controlled the bottle easier.” 

“Are you trying to get me to do drugs?” 

“Oh, and taint your innocence?” Ben jested. “Never, I would never.” 

Rey couldn’t help but notice his how big his right arm was; so big that his limbs were spilling into her seat. His hand made him seem like Bigfoot when it laid next to her own. 

“I’m not all that innocent, you know.” she argued before saying in all seriousness, “I actually drank once.” 

Ben’s eyes grew wide in faux shock as he switched lanes and burst into laughter. “Oh my god really?! Holy fuck, you’re insane!” 

“Shut up.” Rey shot back. “I’m sorry, but not everyone smokes acid and gets drunk all of the time. Or, sensible people don’t, at least.” 

_“Smokes acid?”_ mused Ben. “Oh, Rey, you sweet little thing. You’re a joy.” 

“Whatever.” Rey blushed and picked her head up. “You know what I mean. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I doubt stuff like that helps psychokinesis.” 

“Depends on the drug.” Ben looked over his shoulder to turn left down an intersection. “But it’s not bad to have a little fun once and awhile.” 

“I can think of plenty other ways to have fun, and way less risky.” 

“Oh yeah? Like what.” 

Rey thought for a moment. “Like watching TV, or making flashcards for studying. But like, in a fun way of course, putting on music while you’re writing.” 

She didn’t have to look at him to know that he was still amused. “Hm. I should try that. I suck at studying though, I always get distracted.” 

“It’s probably the drugs frying your brain.” 

Ben laughed at that before asking her what she did besides school. She told him about Rose and Finn and Poe, and he relayed back to her about his shitty friends that he didn’t like. It was strange, him being so open with her. Maybe that’s why he was such a dick; he really just needed someone to open up to, to talk to. 

Without even consciously realizing it, she hadn’t had any trouble in making conversation with him. They were bantering and joking with each other sarcastically in a way that didn’t make her feel the way she did when he “joked” with her in class. He was laughing with her now, not at her. And she was snapping back playfully instead of with malice. 

They finally arrived to her place and she was a little bit offended when his face twisted up at seeing her apartment building. 

“This the right place?” he squinted out of the windshield. 

“Uh, yeah?” Rey said defensively. There it was again: the pompous side of Ben Solo she most certainly did _not_ like. 

When she expected him to turn his nose up and grunt in disapproval, he only nodded as a goodbye. 

“Alright, Niima, take care. I’ll text you so we can meet again for another session.” 

“Sounds fine, I’ll see you around.” 

Hopping out of the clean leather seats, he grabbed her attention one last time. 

“Also,” 

She glanced back to him over her shoulder. 

“If you ever need another place to stay, my house is open, alright?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to the people who interact!! or just read <3 every kudos and comment really motivates me.


	8. Turn of Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

Rey awoke at six the next morning feeling like she had had the best sleep in years. 

It was certainly the meditation; she couldn’t believe she never thought to do it. But- then again, how was she supposed to know that whatever supernatural force plagued her could be satisfied with yoga techniques?

Whatever the reason was, she was happy for it. 

Rose had texted her the night before and asked if she wanted to go to Dunkin’ in the morning. So Rey had prepared everything about ten minutes early, eager to start her day. She missed the typical routine of school even if it hadn’t been too long. 

Unkar was still nowhere to be found, which was slightly unsettling but it certainly had more good effect on Rey than bad. The bruises from a few weeks ago had healed and she preferred when her skin was fresh and she didn’t have to hide the blemishes. 

For the sake of the opportunity, she had dug under his mattress for some coffee money. Money always seemed to be there when she needed it. From the stacks he had hidden under there, she doubted he would miss a few dollars. Besides, she hated making Rose pay for her every time. 

Just as she had tied her hair up in a somewhat disheveled but acceptable bun, her phone chimed with a text from Rose.

Rey snatched her schoolbag and locked the door behind her. The air felt different today- weightless, almost. Her feet felt light as she walked. 

“Hey!” Rose chirped when Rey pulled back the door to get inside. “Are you sure you’re not still sick?”

Rey was glad Rose had reminded her of her own lie. “Oh.. no, just a stomach bug. I’m all better now, ready to start the day!”

“Well, glad to see you’re in a good mood!” Rose laughed before changing gears. 

Before long, Rose and Rey were filling the air with conversation. Rose’s expressions and mannerisms in story-telling always never failed to make Rey laugh; driving with her always went by so fast. Soon enough she was delving into her time with the guy she met at the party and inquired Rey about her experience there as well.

Rey shut that down quicker than it could start. She couldn’t have been more relieved when Rose had started babbling on about her cheer team dramatics. 

“Oh my god, and then Jyn, this sophomore chick was like, trying to tell everyone what to do. We all looked at her like, girl, who do you think you are? A pyramid is not just one person.” 

Rey laughed, quipping back to make Rose giggle in return. Before long, they were in the drive-thru line that seemed to go on for a mile. 

“So what about Solo?” mentioned Rose when a silence had fallen over them. “Is he still giving you shit?”

“Er- what?” said Rey before remembering, her face a little crestfallen. “Oh.. _oh..”._

Ben had been on her mind that morning, but now it finally sank in that what had happened was real life, and wasn’t just some fever dream that didn’t mesh with her normal life. Not to mention the pang of guilt she felt that some stupid boy she just met knew her deepest darkest secret before her best friend, even if it wasn’t on purpose.

“Um...” Rose seemed worried. “Did something happen?”

_“No.”_ Rey answered way too quickly, eliciting an eyebrow raise from Rose. “...Um, I mean, no. Erm, sorry.”

She did her best to look ahead or out of the window to avoid eye contact so she wouldn’t give herself away, which definitely backfired. 

“Okay, you’re acting weird.” Rose’s eyes were squinted in suspicion. “Like, weirder than when you go on about the ‘fascinating science of the NASA Areola’ for fifteen minutes or whatever. Are you sure nothing happened?”

Rey responded like she was personally offended. “First of all, the NASA Ariane Launch is very interesting to read about it if you find the right author. And- I swear. I’m cool. Nothing happened.”

Rose’s jeep pulled forward to where they were about two cars away from the window and she still didn’t look convinced in the slightest. 

“Ohhh-kayyy.” she dismissed it hesitantly. “But if you ever have anything you wanted to tell me, you could... you know?”

“Yeah,” said Rey, an unnoticeable sigh falling from her lips. “Of course...” 

They arrived at school with drinks in hand only a half-hour later. For some reason, the need to tell Rose was all she could stress about now. She had been pretty good about not letting it slip in the years they’d been friends, but she was suddenly struggling to keep it in now. 

But in all seriousness, she knew she couldn’t. 

Still, she needed to tell _someone._ And Solo didn’t count. She certainly didn’t hate him now, but she wasn’t all buddy-buddy now that they shared the same load of trauma. 

It honestly pissed her off. Why, why, _why_ did it have to be him? She’d planned to avoid him before all of this shit happened. Plus- it couldn’t have been a coincidence that he lived so close. Was that why she felt differently when he made her angry compared to other people? Were there other people in their very city that also possessed whatever they had? 

First period, she could hardly think about history as Jabba droned on. Usually she would’ve reprimanded Rose for texting so much instead of listening, but she hadn’t noticed. Her mind was completely elsewhere. 

The previous night when he’d dropped her off, she had mulled everything over about ten times: the training, his ranting, his attitude. The more she thought about how quickly he had changed his attitude made her more uncertain of him. 

What if he hadn’t seen her in the forest? Would he have kept tormenting her? 

She was confident that the answer was yes. 

But- why? She understood it- sort of- he had been jealous of her and had behaved like a fucking child. But there were other smart kids in their class. Was it because she was a junior? Or was she really just that easy of a target? 

And again, why in the fuck did it have to be him of all people? 

“Rey.” Rose snapped her out of her trance. “You’ve been staring at the wall for like, five minutes. Are you okay?” 

“Just tired.” murmured Rey. Her good mood had dissipated faster than she could realize. And- like always, it was because of her own head. Really, she couldn’t blame herself though; it always felt like she had something new to worry about. 

Her friend turned around against her better judgment, still obviously unconvinced. Rose gave her a few side-eyes during class as she scrolled through her Insta feed, but Rey didn’t really care- or notice, to be frank. 

A few periods went by before it was fourth period in physics, and Rey was still straining to pay any bit of attention. 

Before she left he promised that he wouldn’t be an arse to her anymore... but she highly doubted it. Ben had other popular friends in their class, ones that he always had to put on a macho front around, which led her to confidently believe that he would cave in and start picking on her again. If anything, at least her hopes weren’t high. 

“Kid, you should probably copy these notes down, especially since you missed yesterday,” Poe whispered to her. “Heard this unit kicks everyone’s ass.” 

“Oh, right, thanks.” Rey cleared her throat, straightening herself to look at the board. 

Luckily, she’d managed to copy a few notes that she could somewhat understand when she would come back to study. Poe’s notes looked way lengthier so she could just copy his; he had surely copied her notes plenty of times. 

Lunch was a little better. Poe had brought up the science expo in spring, asking Rey what she was going to do for her project. Truth be told, Rey hadn’t even thought about this year’s expo. She’d been so wrapped up in everything else she hadn’t really gotten a chance. 

“Is there something wrong?” he asked in the middle of a long-winded sentence about his project ideas. Rey tensed up. Shit, was she that obvious? 

“Oh, uh, no.” she shook her head. “Continue.” 

“Something’s up with you.” his eyes squinted in suspicion. “I can sense it.” 

Her reaction was a bit too animated to come across as believable. “What are you even talking about? _Nothing_ is wrong!” 

Taking a sip from his soda, he simpered at her across their table. “Because of the way you’re staring off wistfully like you’ve just been to ‘Nam and you’re dealing with the aftermath of war PTSD.” 

“Ha ha.” deadpanned Rey. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” 

Poe shrugged doubtfully. “...If you say so. Anyways, the chemical impurities in cleaning supplies would be a pretty good candidate for a project, don’t you think? Like the comparison of Lysol and Clorox for their sodium chloride content, or maybe...” 

Normally, Rey would’ve hung on to every word that Poe had said since he was really her only friend that shared her love of science, but she couldn’t even comprehend what he was saying anymore. Nor did she really care at the moment.

She was going to see _him_ next period. And now, everything was different. 

The lunch bell finally rang and Poe kindly scooped up both of their lunch trays to deposit them. Rey thanked him before bidding him a goodbye. 

“See ya, kid. Let me know what you think about all of that later.” 

As if she knew what he had been talking about. 

Her heart pounded out of her chest with every step she took toward the math hall. Fuck- why was she so nervous? It really isn’t that big of a deal. 

_Get your shit together, Niima._

Contrasted with how she felt, Kenobi’s sweet, warm grin met her as soon as she walked in, easing her worry a little. 

“Ah, Miss Niima!” chirped Kenobi. “We missed you yesterday.” 

And then her breath caught in her throat, because _he_ turned around to look at her along with the rest of the class. His stare was less grating than usual, although still intense. The curt, dark hair that floated above his shoulder was as fluffy and voluminous as ever. 

To her relief, she sat down in her chair and he didn’t say a word to her. Ben simply returned to talking to Hux who was right next to him, the both of them apathetic to her. 

Phew. It was obvious he didn’t want any trouble. She felt all of her muscles unlock. 

Like always, she pulled her notebook out and all of her assorted pens. Now she could actually focus. She honestly felt quite silly for being so worried about him. 

Not long after, Kenobi pulled up the powerpoint to delve into the other part of the section they were working on. Everyone fell silent. Rey liked it; no snickering or brash insults. Just silent, like a school environment should be. 

While she was neatly jotting down excerpts of the lecture on her paper, an intuition bloomed in her gut that she couldn’t ignore. She felt like eyes were on her like... she was being watched. 

Her head tilted to the side ever so discreetly, and sure enough, Ben Solo’s eyes were fixed on her- but they peeled away when he’d been caught. 

Weird. He wasn’t being rude... just weird. It didn’t make her feel uncomfortable or intimidated. Just perplexed. 

Tuning back into what Kenobi was babbling on about, she made it through another ten or fifteen minutes of notes when she felt his eyes on her again. 

Her glare was definitely harsh, but at least it worked given the fact that he retracted back into his own empty notebook without giving her another look. 

Why couldn’t he just be normal? Like, not stare at her like he was a hungry tiger and she was a lone gazelle. Perhaps he could just pay attention to the lecture and then he wouldn’t be failing this class. Honestly, she didn’t care, just not staring at her was enough. But maybe that was just too much to fucking ask for. 

Soon enough the bell rang and all of the kids in class filed to the door in heaps amidst scattered conversations. 

Kenobi made his way out ahead of everyone else with the flow of traffic, and Rey found herself at the back of the room’s exiting mob alongside Armitage, Ben and Bazine. She did her best to keep her head high. 

“Hey, Niima, saw you at my party the other day.” Bazine had a wicked smile as she exchanged glances with the boys. “Did you have fun?” 

“Sure.” Rey coldly replied. The four of them flooded out behind the rest of the class, and while Rey turned to the left down the hall, so did they. Just her luck. 

Ben still hadn’t said a word, him and Hux following quietly behind the two girls. 

“Heard that you met Phas.” said Bazine. “She like, told me everything.” 

_“Did she?”_ Rey returned sourly. 

Bazine turned around to throw a glance over her shoulder at Armitage, prompting him to jump in. 

“Oh yeah, are you okay?” asked Armitage, condescension dripping off of his tone. “You seemed like you got your feelings a little bit hurt that night.” 

Rey sped up her steps a little but they were like duct tape in the way they followed along. When they had finished walking down the stairwell in a mere seven seconds, she jumped in front of Rey to block her from walking away. Ben and Armitage hung back a few feet, the both of them appearing just as uncertain of what she was about to do. 

Bazine was only an inch or so taller than her, but the way her presence towered over Rey made her seem four feet tall. Nonetheless, Rey stood her ground. She wasn’t weak. And she sure as hell wouldn’t make it seem like she was. 

“And, come to think of it, I didn’t actually fucking invite you, _Niima.”_ Bazine finally snapped. “Because I don’t want my house to have a rat problem.” 

She didn’t want to say Rose did; getting her mixed into Bazine’s wrath was not something a good friend would do. 

Rey just rolled her eyes, but felt a bubbling sensation in her blood that she was far too used to. To her surprise though, she suppressed it fairly easily- unlike pretty much every other time she had been a victim to it. 

When she had been so focused on calming down, her heart rate skyrocketed when Ben piped up. 

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Baz. I gave her the addy.” 

Bazine’s eyes flitted to him in disbelief and she raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. 

“The fuck are you talking about?” Hux blurted before she could. 

Rey also wanted to know what the fuck he was talking about. Turning around, his eyes met hers as soon as she could see him. 

“Yeah?” His eyes’ gaze switched from her to both of his friends to give them a challenging look. “And, actually- Niima. You’re invited to mine this Saturday. You’ll be able to find where to drop by then.” 

“Bro, we haven’t even told any o-“ Armitage tried to say. 

“Um, since when were you having a party this weekend?” Bazine cut him off. 

“You wouldn’t know.” Ben stepped away from the three of them so he could breeze ahead before speaking to Baz over his shoulder. “‘Cause you’re not fuckin’ invited.” 

Armitage, eyes wide, scrambled after him once he had managed to shoot an astonished look at Rey. Also bewildered, she simply stared at the two of them walking away, forgetting that it was just her and Bazine standing alone together. Pretty much everyone else had gone to lunch. 

In the silent corridor, Rey could practically feel the jealous anger radiating off of Bazine in waves. When she came closer to Rey, Rey stayed glued in her spot with no fear. She knew for a fact that Bazine’s goal was to frighten her, but Rey wouldn't budge. 

Bazine’s glare burned holes through Rey’s head. “As a girl-to-girl, he’s probably inviting you just so he can get into your pants for a night. Ben will fuck-“ 

Her eyes scraped over Rey’s figure in a disgusted scowl before she finished. 

_“-anyone.”_

Rey was unfazed. Her stare remained indifferent, and she said nothing so Bazine could finish her temper tantrum. 

“He’ll forget about you in one week tops.” seethed Bazine, looking in on her. “But you’re used to that, anyways, I guess.” 

The last unexpected jab stuck Rey right in her heart. Ever the hot-head, she shoved past the older girl to make a point whilst spitting out the first that came to mind before she began to walk away:

“Eat your fucking heart out.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> virtual school gives me sm motivation to write yay. anyways i hope y’all like it i’m still kinda toying w the elements of this story so i always love comments


	9. Forgive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW!!
> 
> PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE  
> you have been warned

Rey was finishing up her homework at around four that day when her phone chimed. Her nerves heightened when she caught sight of the name. 

**4:04: _Hey_ **

Curious, she replied quickly. 

**4:04: _Hi?_ **

His reply was just as immediate. 

**4:05: _Are you good to train again_ **

****

**4:05: _I could come pick you up_**

****

She fidgeted with her fingers for a moment. It was strange he hadn’t mentioned what had happened earlier but she certainly wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up. She had loads of far more important questions anyways- and he was the only one who could really answer them. 

**4:05: _That’s fine, are you coming soon?_ **

A few seconds lapsed over before his texts came in.

**4:06: _Yeah_ **

****

**4:06: _On my way!_ **

****

**4:07: _Fucking dipshit autocorrect_ **

****

**4:07: _*Omw_**

****

Rey grinned at her phone absentmindedly before setting it down to return back to the last section of her work. What an idiot. 

Her pencil scraped against the paper in fluid motions before she read over what she had wrote, sighing contentedly. There was nothing more satisfying than the feeling of finishing all of your work.

Walking to the little kitchenette, she scowled at how bare the fridge was. Sure, she could take a little money from Unkar’s mattress but that was really only for emergencies. Besides, she could manage; lunch at school wasn’t too scarce today. She had inhaled her entire tray of spaghetti even though Poe had said that the meat sauce was probably from last month. But of course, he had eaten it too. Neither of them were too picky with food.

Sighing, she reached for one of the plastic cups on the counter to fill it with water.

The tap hesitated for a moment but eventually spurted out some dingy water. But again; she wasn’t too picky. Water was water.

As she was setting the cup back down, there was a loud rapping on the door.

Damn, how close had Ben been? Or rather, how fast had he driven? What she knew for sure was that she was definitely going to reprimand him for how obnoxious his knocking was. 

Cracking open the front door, her heart sunk. There, stood Unkar- clearly sober from how deep his frown was- holding two bags in his hands as he pushed through Rey. 

Well, it had been a good week. Too bad he couldn’t launder crack twenty-four seven.

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” grunted the man as he walked into his room.

“It ended an hour ago.” Rey replied meekly. “I was just... getting ready to go to a friend’s.”

It didn’t even register that she had called Ben her friend until she replayed what she had said back in her mind. She had just referred to him as that by convenience- she didn’t actually mean it. Not that it was important. 

He popped back out into the little hallway, his eyes glazing over her with his usual glare. 

“Is that so?” murmured Unkar, stepping into the kitchenette. Rey’s throat went dry. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for, because he certainly wouldn’t find it.

Opening up the fridge, Unkar paused for a moment before slamming it shut which startled her although she was a room away. 

“You’d _think_ a little brat like _you_ would have enough respect to at least get me a six-pack before I got home.” hissed Unkar, his glare cutting through her from across the room. 

“I-I’m.. sorry, sir, I didn’t know when you were coming home.” 

That didn’t seem to cut it for Unkar based on the way his fists balled up as he stormed towards her. His hand rose and she already knew what was coming, so reflexively, she ducked. 

Big mistake.

The look of anger instantly transitioned to raw rage, his face twisting into a mess of fury. 

This time, his hand grabbed a fistful of her hair and he threw her to the dirty carpet below. Rey yelped, her vision going splotchy from the contact of her head with the floor.

She hadn’t even done anything.

But she was wise enough to know that she wasn’t the source of this rage. Whether it was withdrawal or an unruly ‘client’ he had dealt with, it wasn’t her doing. She just happened to be the punching bag.

She opened her eyes. There, crouched beside her was Unkar, clearly not content with the damage he had done. No matter how many times she lived through his tantrums, the wild expression spread across his face never ceased to terrify her; he resembled similar to that of a rabid dog foaming at the mouth.

From above, he took the opportunity to slap her across the face with a touch that seemed to scorch her cheek from how harsh the contact was. Rey groaned and her eyes began to water; still, she laid there, not wanting to anger him further.

“Ungrateful _bitch.”_ fumed Unkar as he landed a kick in her gut before stepping away from her limp body. “I take you in and do you a favor and _this_ is the respect I get!”

Like a dead fish, she let him land another blow. 

“You’re not going _anywhere_ until you go down and get me some-”

_Knock knock knock._

Rey’s stomach did a somersault. As discombobulated as she was, she wanted to beg for Unkar not to open the door, but he was already rushing to open it while scolding her to keep quiet. She wanted to cry; she would rather take fifty more blows to the head than be humiliated in front of Unkar and Ben at the exact same time. 

From where she was laying on the floor, she sat up, still a little dizzy but mostly okay. The door was faced away from her so she could only see Unkar standing in front of it. Rey did her best to shrink back. 

“Who the bloody hell are you?”

The deep voice that Rey was too familiar with rang through her throbbing head. “Is Rey here?”

“She’s busy right now.” Unkar snipped. 

Ben’s voice came back just as biting. “Doing _what?”_

“None of your concern. Thank you.” snarled Unkar, shutting the door in his face. 

But before the door could close, it flung open, knocking Unkar off his balance. He stumbled onto the floor, and in stepped Ben wearing a pair of khakis and a polo that looked like it was suffocating his muscles.

“Get out of my house!” yelled Unkar as he got back onto his feet, butting up against Ben but not leaving any impression. Next to Unkar, Ben was half a foot taller and far broader that any part of his body.

“Rey?” called out Ben in search of her, ignoring the older man squawking at him beneath his chin. “Rey-”

She was finally in his sight, sat on the floor, bruised and battered. His mouth dropped to gape at her.

“Holy shit,” mumbled Ben as he rushed over to her on the floor. Unkar was just observing angrily now after coming to terms with the fact that he most certainly did not stand a chance against Ben, but that didn’t stop his mouth from running.

“I’ll call the police!” Unkar told him. 

Ben ignored him. Kneeling, he extended a hand, “Let’s go, Rey.”

Rey’s lip quivered as she looked up at him. She was glad the pounding in her head was slowing to a stop so she could think somewhat straight. 

Ben Solo was such a dick, an arsehole.

Until he wasn’t. 

One minute he had berated her for the entertainment of his friends, and now he was crouched over her while shielding her from her abuser.

It was an act, she was sure. Bazine was probably right.

But in the moment, she gladly accepted his hand. 

“I’ll put you back into the system!” Unkar was pointing in a finger into her face before she could fully stand up again. “No one will want you! No one will-”

Ben’s elbow deftly came to swat up in the nose, immediately drawing blood from it.

Rey gasped and drew herself closer to Ben instinctively. 

“Fuck!” cried Unkar, clutching his nose, falling back to the floor. 

Rey felt Ben’s hand squeeze her’s, and when she looked back up to him he nodded towards the still opened door.

She followed him out, hurrying along with him to his car before hopping in. Unkar was still hurling obscenities as he turned on the ignition.

Pulling out of the parking lot, Rey glanced at Unkar one last time, red-faced and angry before whipping back to face Ben. 

“Why the hell did you do that?”

Ben turned to look at her like she was insane. “Do you think I would’ve just left you there?”

“I don’t see why not.” said Rey. “Unless you really want to... want to sleep with me that bad.”

The car swerved a little at that since Ben took his eyes off the road once more. Rey yelped out a sound of disapproval. 

“You think I want to fuck you?” He scoffed in disbelief, giving her wide eyes before switching his attention back to the road. “You think I did that so I could get some pussy?” 

She took his question literally. “Well, Bazine said-”

_“‘Bazine said?’”_ Ben repeated, gripping the steering wheel harder. “Fuck Bazine. Whatever she said was bullshit. You’re smart enough to know that.”

A few beats of silence passed between them.

“...What did Bazine say?”

“That you invited me to your party so you could get in my pants.” Rey crossed her arms. “Which is not happening, by the way, I’m not going to your party and you are not getting in my pants.”

“You’ll be happy to hear that I could not give less of a shit about either of those things.” retorted Ben bitterly. “And don’t listen to her. She’s just mad because I wouldn’t fuck her.”

“Why would she be mad about that?” Rey’s eyebrows furrowed in sincere confusion. 

Ben let out a sarcastic laugh at that. “Gee, Niima, tell me how you really feel.”

“I didn’t mean it like that-”

“It doesn’t matter.” he interrupted, pausing for a moment to pull into the left lane. “What the fuck was happening back there with your dad?”

“He’s _not_ my dad.” 

“Well whatever he is, he’s a piece of shit. He did that to you-?” 

As he said this, he waved a hand towards his face to represent the marks on her own. Rey had completely forgotten that Unkar had backhanded her pretty roughly, even though the sting was lingering.

She ran a finger over the beaten skin but pulled it away only a few seconds later when he had taken notice. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Rey grumbled. 

Ben let out a patient sigh. “Okay, I get it. But I’m not taking you back there, just so you know. Not tonight, anyways.”

Weird. You’d think Ben Solo wouldn’t give two shits about some girl he barely knew who he apparently wasn’t trying to fuck. 

Rey let out a noise of objection. “Then where will I go?”

“You could stay at mine. I have like, fifteen bedrooms that are free to use.” 

Pondering it for a moment, she decided it was quite appealing. The pristine bathrooms, the beautiful, cloud-like bedsheets. 

But she was also skeptical; it was too good to be true. 

He pulled up behind a line of cars sitting behind a red light. When she finally opened her mouth, it was like she was bursting to know the answer.

“So you don’t want to sleep with me,” said Rey, “Do you want to murder me and use my skin as a blanket? What’s your deal? Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?” 

Turning towards her in disbelief, he shook his head before a chuckle escaped his lips.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Because you act like you’ve never had anyone like you before. Like you’ve never had anyone treat you with human decency before.” 

Rey huffed. “I have, thanks. Just wouldn’t expect it from you.” 

He let out a humorless laugh. “I’m full of surprises, sweetheart.” 

Thinking about what he had said for a moment, she examined him as if trying to find any sigh of deception. 

“...Are you trying to say you like me?”

The car in front of them started to move, so Ben relocated his gaze to the road in front of him. 

“I guess.” Ben muttered. “I mean- you’re cool, Niima. Shit, I don’t know. Maybe it’s cause we have this bullshit curse. Maybe that’s why I like you. But I liked you before that- even though I didn’t, uh, show it.” 

Rey was silent.

“And I know I was a dick to you, big time.” The way he said the words made it seem like they hurt to speak. “I know that, and I wish I could undo it. I didn’t mean any of the shit I said.”

“Even when you called me sticks?” Rey reminded him sourly. 

Ben cringed but covered it up quickly. “I didn’t mean that, I was just trying to... I don’t know. Your body is lovely- wait, no, like... your body is fine. Not trying to be weird or anything, cause like, I don’t want to fuck you, but-”

Ben stopped himself mid-sentence when Rey burst into out a short fit of laughter. Flustered, he kept his mouth shut as she continued to laugh. 

He had said sorry- but she didn’t even care.

No, it didn’t make it right. He shouldn’t have said it in the first place. 

But he was so clueless and awkward that it was hilarious; and beguiling in a way. Like all of the mean stuff he had said were really just insults he thought would grab her attention- like he didn’t actually think them. Why he would want to grab her attention, she wasn’t sure, but she felt like that was his main goal. 

Not that she cared or anything. 

Additionally, now he’d sort of saved her skin. She didn’t even want to think about how bad it would’ve gotten with Unkar if he hadn’t shown up. 

The words fell out before she could even think it through, still grinning. 

“I truly do forgive you.”

“...You don’t have to, I’m not asking-”

“There’s no point in holding a grudge.” said Rey. “You.. really helped me back there, you know? But- when it comes to school... I think I can handle myself.” 

He ran a hand through his hair before putting it back onto the wheel. “You think so.” 

Rey’s grin fell and her eyes narrowed. “What is that supposed to mean? I certainly can.” 

“Never said you couldn’t.” Ben shrugged. “I just think you need to be more aggressive when people come at you like that.” 

“I’m aggressive when I need to be, thank you very _much.”_

“Yeah, trust me, I know.” 

With a roll of her eyes, she peered out of the window, recognizing the familiar mansions that lined the luxurious estates. Even though she’d seen them before, she was mesmerized for the second time. Ben rounded another corner, and sure enough, there it was. 

Rey found herself just as in awe with the house- even though she had definitely seen it before. In all of its grandeur, it was insane to imagine that only two people lived in it. 

It looked different in the daylight. Brighter, more like a royal castle compared to at night when it looked like a setting for big city business parties. 

“Are you really having a party this weekend?” 

He led her to another door on the side of the house, away from the large double doors she had entered last time. Rey had sworn that when they had gone to a separate side, his mansion had doubled in size. 

“I guess I have to now.” Ben said. “I’m a man of my word.” 

“What? But you said-?” Rey could hardly articulate what she was trying to say. 

He typed a code into an automated keypad before stepping inside to which she followed. 

“I made that shit up on the spot.” sighed Ben before leaving the room they entered into another endless hallway. What the fuck was the point of having such a big house? 

“You made it up on the spot?” Rey was bewildered. “You mean to tell me you weren’t having a party before you... invited _me?”_

“I mean, Armie wanted to have one but I hadn’t agreed to anything.” Ben spoke over his shoulder. “Until then.” 

“Oh my god, you are such a dumbass.” remarked Rey with a ‘disappointed mother’ type of groan. 

She could hear the smirk in Ben’s voice. “Oh, really? Well it pissed Baz off so I’d say I did my part.” 

“Yeah that’s what you- woah.” 

Ben had led her into an area where the hallway filtered out into a much larger main space: the kitchen. 

The space was the size of at least four of Rey’s room, with shining granite counters and spotless white shelves that lined every wall. The space wasn’t short of bougie decor either; the art accented the silver and white with their own cool color scheme. Rey honestly didn’t know where to look. There were so many appliances that it looked like one of the sets for one of those competitive cooking television show. 

Inside was a slender man bent over an obscenely large oven. The way the room swallowed him made him seem nothing of size although he appeared fairly tall.

“You hungry?” inquired Ben, going to greet the slim man in the kitchen. Rey only gaped in response. Ben’s monster of a mansion was like the bottomless bag from Mary Poppins. 

“Ah, Mr. Solo.” the man who had been bent over the stove rose to greet him in a bow. He was an older man with an angular face, and a tinge of an accent similar to hers. “You’ve brought a friend?” 

“Yes sir.” nodded Ben, gesturing to Rey. “This is Rey. And Rey, this is Threepio.” 

Rey shook the man’s hand gingerly, giving him a polite smile. She was aware Ben was loaded but holy shit... his own personal chef? No wonder he was such a pain in the arse. 

“What are you in the mood for, Miss Rey?” Threepio chirped with a warm smile. “Would you like me to start you out with the list of cuisines?” 

Rey just blinked in amazement. “Oh, no. Whatever you recommend. I- uh, yeah. Thank you. 

“Salmon and caprese for me, thanks.” said Ben before continuing casually, “And just a glass of Chardonnay.” 

She shot him a wide-eyed look when he had requested wine as if it were a staple, but he didn’t seem to notice. 

Rey exchanged a farewell with Threepio before Ben led her back out into the hallway. 

Rey looked up at him in wonder. “You... do you live like this everyday?” 

Ben laughed. “Uh.. yeah? Ooh- you haven’t even seen the planetarium. You’ll get a kick out of that.” 

_“You have a planetarium?!_

“Yeah yeah, but let’s go get you fixed up first.” 

Until he had mentioned it, Rey had completely forgotten about the fact that she was bruised. Not that she could blame herself; his house was pretty damn incredible and distracting. She usually just let them heal on their own, anyway, but it didn’t seem like an option by the way Ben insisted. 

The bruises on her face and arms weren’t terrible, luckily. But surprisingly enough for a family who had a personal chef, they didn’t have a personal doctor. There was no need anyway; Ben did just fine bandaging Rey up and treating every blemish that Unkar had given her on his own. 

Afterwards they had spent a good hour and a half up in the Solo family’s planetarium. Rey had never seen anything like it- there were countless amounts of appliances and books on how to read and decipher the stars and constellations, not to mention how huge the glass dome ceiling was. The telescope that extended upwards made her feel like she could see out into the mesosphere; she was in heaven.

By the time dinner time rolled around, it occurred to Rey that they hadn’t discussed anything related to what she had originally come over for. 

Concerning dinner, though: it was nothing short of her expectations in the slightest. 

Threepio had constructed a gorgeous skewer of buttered shrimp upon a bed of wild rice and fresh mixed greens and other vegetables that had been grown in their plant nursery. It looked bloody fantastic, but the dish was so beautiful that Rey would’ve rather framed it than ate it. 

She felt extremely out of place sitting in Ben’s picturesque dining room. It was as well-decorated and furnished as the rest of the house, the placemats and chairs and walls all of the same dusty-grey color palette. The fire crackling in the center was just the cherry on top. 

And then here she was in her frayed leggings and undersized hoodie that she had owned for the last four years. Threepio must have thought she was homeless. Well- she guessed she sort of was. 

Still, she wasn’t one to pass up a good meal. Rey took a forkful of shrimp, rice and romaine, biting into it eagerly. _Fucking hell._

“Do you like it?” asked Ben when she had scarfed down her first few bites very enthusiastically. 

Rey swallowed a bite stuck in her throat, letting out a little, involuntarily moan. Ben nearly choked on his salmon. “Holy fuck, _yes-_ this is insane.” 

A chuckle made its way out of Ben’s throat again; Rey found herself smiling at the sound without even realizing.

“Jesus, Niima, you’re so easy to please. It’s just shrimp.” 

“But it’s shrimp that tastes like it was just fished from the ocean! To be honest, I don’t have a refined palate anyway, I’ve only had shrimp out of a can.” 

“That’s a thing?” Ben grimaced. 

“When you’re poor enough it is.” shrugged Rey before shoving another bite into her mouth. There was no way she could eat school lunch ever again. 

“Well you won’t have to eat shrimp in a can as long as I’m alive.” Ben told her before devouring his last shred of salmon. Rey grinned through a mouthful of rice. 

“Don’t promise what you can’t deliver, Solo.” 

“Like I said, I’m a man of my word.” smirked the boy before bringing his glass to his lips. 

“So do you have people for everything? Like to wipe your arse and put on your knickers for you?” 

“No, just a few house staff- gardener, chef, maids, all of that. Nothing crazy.” 

Rey raised an eyebrow. “Nothing crazy?” 

“Well, I know not everyone has them, but it’s not like I live the life of Bill Gates.” 

“I don’t know, it’s pretty damn close.” 

When she looked back up at him, she locked eyes with him for a moment before the both of them started laughing. It wasn’t uncomfortable, nor did it feel awkward; she was genuinely having a good time. And now, she wasn’t feeling bad about it. Perhaps he really wasn’t that bad- she just had to peel back a few layers to find out. 

“You’re finished?” Ben nodded to her plate. 

“Oh- yes. I’ll have to go thank Threepio.” 

“Sure. And then we can get started.” 

Rey rose from her chair but halted movement at that, before turning to shoot him a puzzled look. “...Started?” 

“Your training. It’s the whole reason why you’re here, Niima.” 

She whipped her head back around to conceal the blush growing on her cheeks, resuming her walk to the kitchen. “I knew that!” 

———————— • ————————— 

Rey screamed in pain, her whole body feeling like it had been ripped in half. 

Suspended in mid-air by just her mere mind, she fell to the ground with a thud. Ben rushed over to her in no time. 

“Rey? Rey? Rey, are you okay?” 

Her eyes fluttered shut before she breathed out, “I did it.” 

Ben hoisted her head onto his knee so it wasn’t laying on the cold floor. “Okay, I think we probably should have prepped more. I think there’s too much strain on your brain with all that’s happened today.” 

“I’m fine.” mumbled Rey, struggling to sit up. “Just give me a second.” 

“No, you’re not.” Ben used a hand to push her back down in a laying position with ease. “I think we’re moving too fast. We should slow down.” 

“We’ve only been in here for an hour or two!” Rey rubbed her eyes. “I can try again.” 

“The fact that you’ve only managed to make a little bit of progress over two hours and by the point you did it was excruciatingly painful is a good sign we should stop.” Ben spoke firmly. “You need to tell me what happened with your d- that... your... caretaker? It’s important for shit like this. Did he just hit you or-?” 

“Yes, he fucking hit me!” Rey shot up from laying down, still slightly dizzy from falling. “You’d think that much would be obvious.” 

Ben’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t snap back like she thought he would. Instead, he spoke gently, “Did he do anything else? Say anything?” 

“Sure, he said things.” 

“Like what?” 

“Does it really fucking matter?” growled Rey. 

Ben shifted on the floor, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, actually, it does. Do you realize that your mind is like, the core of all of this? You won’t be able to achieve much if you don’t sort everything out first.” 

“...How the hell am I supposed to do that?” 

“Well, for starters, getting you out of an abusive household. My mom told me that when you stress the brain, that’s when you lash out. And it’s true. I used to be really, really angry- all the time. And I’d have outbursts and I’d destroy shit, and I began to hate myself. And I see that in you.” 

Rey glared at him when he finished with the last sentence. “I do _not_ hate myself. It’s not wise to assume things, Solo. If anything, you’re the one who hates yourself.” 

Rey’s head hadn’t even caught up to her mouth, but before she could catch up to what she said, it was too late. Ben’s mouth twitched up, and he leaned closer, eyes on her. Her eye contact was as unwavering as his. 

His voice left his lips, low and challenging, “And why do you say that?” 

“You said you were jealous of me,” breathed out Rey. He was so close to her face that she could hear the soft, angry exhales leaving him. “You said that your father thought you were a disappointment...it’s- it’s...just what you said.” 

“The more I think about it, the more I don’t know.” Ben’s nose was so close to touching her own. “What bothers me is not that you’re smarter than me, it’s... something else.” 

“What..?” 

He retracted from her face, changing the subject. “...How did you make those trees fall?” 

“In the... At Bazine’s? I don’t know, I told you, I was angry, I had no idea-” 

“You did that on _accident?”_

Rey drew back a bit, annoyed. “Obviously it was an accident, I would do something like that on purpose.” 

“I’d never seen anything like it.” Ben looked at her, curious. “Even my mother had never done something like that.” 

“Well, consider yourselves lucky because it wasn’t fucking fun.” scowled Rey, going to stand up before Ben’s arm shot out to prevent her from doing so. 

“Where are you going?” 

She looked back for a moment before her eyes flitted to the floor. “I don’t know.” 

He thought for a moment, letting go of her arm before offering, “Do you want to get ready for bed?” 

“...Are you really letting me stay here?” 

“Of course. Just because you know, your... um, guardian doesn’t seem to be in a.. fit state of mind.” 

“Guardian is a strong word.” murmured Rey. “But- just for tonight. I... um, I appreciate it.” 

“Yeah, sure.” He stood up and held out a hand for her, which she took with no hesitation. “We have to stick together.” 

“Yeah...” her lips curled up in a warm smile. “We do.” 

Ben said nothing, his eyes sweeping over her face in... admiration, almost. Like he was entranced with the most ordinary girl on the planet that was Rey Niima. She felt a little bit fluttery on the inside but she wasn’t sure what to make of it. It was probably just her dinner digesting. 

She broke the silence apprehensively and cleared her throat. “Ben...?” 

It was as if he was broken from a trance, the way his softened countenance returned to his resting face. He turned away and nodded for her to follow him out of the room in which they’d been in. 

“Mhm?” 

“Tell me more about your mum.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so long, but a lot happened in this chapter. i swear i won’t make another chapter this long lmfao. anyways, like always, leave comments!! i love them


	10. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve wanted to post this chapter for a while now!! i hope you don’t mind a POV change

_Love._

It was a strong word.

But the word’s absence was just as powerful.

“I love you,” his mother would tell his father.

And without missing a beat, his father would smirk at her and reply: “I know.”

On occasion he’d respond by planting a kiss onto her forehead and returning it with an “I love you,” of his own. Not often, but it became more prominent when the cancer showed up.

Ben had grown so used to behavior like this over the years, being that all of his friend’s parents were pretty much the same in that regard. Men were strong- and strong meant being brazen and hiding emotions and not letting anyone get to you.

Ben’s father was in every way a man’s man. He was a businessman who would grab a beer with his coworkers and friends multiple times a week. He was a man who would watch hours of sports on television and could report every play of the game back to his buddies.

Ben would constantly spew meaningless gibberish to him as a child, as kids tended to do. He’d babble on about the rock he found outside or what he did at school that day. He’d tell Han everything and anything.

Han wasn’t as interested in that. He was always busy- which Ben accepted, however disappointed he may have been.

Leia was just as busy if not more, but always seemed to find time for Ben. As a pre-schooler, he’d waddle into her office while she was doing paperwork, and when his nanny would apologize to Leia and try to pull him out, his mother would dismiss her and invite him in. Thus commencing an hour-long conversation of the lego he had built upstairs. Han never really listened like she did- or, if he did, his attention was always divided.

This wasn’t just the case for Ben. Unfortunately for his wife, Han Solo was also in every way a ladies man.

Ben had found about the impending divorce through the whispers of their house staff when he was about nine or so. From the perspective of a nine year old, he didn’t really understand why; they loved each other and they seemed happy.

That was until he’d snooped on one of their arguments and found out there was someone else involved. A woman other than his mother, to be exact. Some woman who was important enough to be quarreled over.

Then Leia got diagnosed, and the talk of divorce vanished completely.

It was sad that the closest his parents had ever been was when his mother was on her deathbed, but the fact that Han had devoted every waking hour to keeping her happy as long as she was alive made it bittersweet.

But then, she died.

It was too much. What was worse was that she was his rock; she was the person he could always count on to soothe him. With her gone, there was only Han and... Uncle Luke. Luke tried his best to be there for him, but Ben craved his father’s attention. He wanted to grieve with him, talk about his mother, and mourn her with the person that knew her the best.

Han saw grieving to be necessary, but temporary. His attitude was that you were allowed to be sad, until a week or two later when you had to get your shit together. After all, life moves on, right?

It didn’t move on. In fact, when Uncle Luke flew back to his home a week and a half after the funeral, it accelerated a downward spiral.

He couldn’t recall another period in his life in which he’d been so...

_angry._

Honestly, he’d tried to be his best- for his father, and even though she wasn’t physically present, mostly for his mother.

But as a preteen on the brink of teenage years, teenage angst wasn’t one to help. Neither was your mom dying. Neither was being a kid with anger issues and no friends. Neither was the eternal doom of his psychokinesis that Han hadn’t a fucking clue about.

You’d think that he’d know more about it, as his wife of over a decade was a master of such powers.

No, he’d never bothered. Leia had told Ben that when they were engaged, she had spilled the beans. She described his initial reaction as “shocked but like he couldn’t care any less”.

So, Ben had to take everything his mother had taught him from the age of five and apply it ever so graciously to his life while balancing school, and Han let him handle it on his own.

Han found him a high-class therapist, one who was accustomed to dealing with freaks of nature- or how they put it, ‘talented’ children. The therapist asked him the same questions every session, and gave him fucking breathing exercises to do. Fucking breathing exercises, which never did shit. Maybe it was because Leia wasn’t there, or maybe it was because he’d been so adamant on staying closed off. Either way, it was a shitshow. His therapy sessions came to an end when he had unintentionally made the ceiling cave in on top of his therapist.

Obviously, Han wasn’t too happy. It was the first of many failures that would drive a wedge between them.

He’d broken so much shit in their house that Han would yell at him until it would fire Ben up so much that he’d wreak more havoc. It was an endless, wretched cycle.

And, as his grades were pretty awful and he was facing serious disciplinary issues, Han decided that he should switch to public school. Really, it was only upon Leia’s wish that he’d gone to Prep school, but Han had said that it wasn’t needed anymore.

Ben finally understood his true reason when he’d unwillingly overheard his phone conversation with his long-time pal, Chewie: “If he wants to act like trash, he can be with the goddamn trash.”

That cut a little deep, because, believe it or not, Ben truly had been trying his hardest. Not that that meant anything to his father, because ultimately, he was failing.

Ben had transferred to their local public school. He’d managed to make a few friends, and barely caused class disruptions, and he’d eventually brought all of his grades to a C-level.

Han didn’t remark on it. In fact, it seemed like he was trying to avoid Ben at all costs. He’d come home for two weeks, leave for another month, and come back home for another week to leave for two more. It was like when Leia died, the Solo family did as a whole.

Over time, Ben became used to it.

It was around freshman year when he’d accumulated a lot of friends and became somewhat popular. It was nice; people respected him, and most of all, they paid attention to him.

So he’d have girls over whenever he desired. He’d host parties whenever he wanted. He’d hotbox his entire fucking living room with five of his buddies if he felt like it.

His staff had never snitched. Or- if they did, Ben would have never known. His dad would act as indifferent as always.

Concerning girls though, he’d had a couple of them tell him those familiar words:

“I love you.”

Most times it was if he’d hooked up with them multiple times. Of course, a sixteen year old girl telling a guy she just had sex with was far different than a wife saying it to her husband. But, without fail, Ben would coolly shoot back every time,

“I know.”

Girls didn’t like that. A lot of girls would leave after he said that- not like he cared. He’d find someone else willing enough to scratch the itch when the need came around again.

As popular as he was, though, his classmates would say that Ben Solo had an ego.

He thought of himself more as...confident. Shit, he could basically get any girl he wanted with a simple ask and could throw a rager that would have the whole school buzzing on the day of. What wasn’t there to be proud of?

No girls were off-limits for him. While a lot of his friends were pining for girls their age, he could get a hot busty university girl with ease. Just give him ten minutes, and he’d have her coming back to his place sober.

But then, there was _her._

What the fuck was it with her?

A junior. A mathlete, probably. And additionally, a girl who wanted nothing to do with him- while he wanted everything to do with her.

Ben couldn’t comprehend what it was, but Christ, there was something about her. When she’d walked in on the first day of school, he’d tried not to stare out of respect. He had done a good job in sneaking a few glances at her, though.

She possessed a natural beauty that was so youthful and precious that he couldn’t help but admire her. Her eyes, when they glittered at something Kenobi would say, or her cute little nose when it would scrunch up in distaste at him. Or her locks of chestnut hair- whether it was swept up into a messy knot on the back of her head or if it was cascading down her shoulders. It was so smooth, shiny, and he ached to comb his fingers through it.

Not to mention that voice. That adorable, dainty little lilt that he wished could lull him to sleep every night.

But it was funny; she was nothing like the girls he’d fucked around with. Usually they were all of the same type although physically contrasted: compliant, diffident, and eager to please.

Rey Niima was the polar opposite. Contrary to the angelic innocence she displayed, she was bold, unafraid, and didn’t seem to give a single fuck about what people thought.

He’d made a snappy comment and she’d flung it right back. It was exactly what he’d hoped for: her attention. Sure, it was a bit juvenile, but it was harmless.

Or so he’d thought.

Without noticing, he’d gone too far. It was just that every time she seemed to come up with something hilarious to shoot back at him... he couldn’t stop. He longed for her eyes to be on him, and so he’d remark on something else. She’d retort, and it would continue. She was the only reason that he hadn’t missed fifth period once.

Then came the party. He’d made one of his stupid jokes, and all of the attention had turned on her.

That image haunted him. The image of her standing in front of Phasma, tears welling in her eyes. Being cruelly insulted by his ‘friends’ who he’d never wanted to be disassociated with more than in that very moment. And, like a coward, he didn’t act until it was too late.

Her tears. Those tears, that eventually slipped down her cheeks in hot, furious streams.

_And it was all his fucking fault._

And as high as he was, his blood had still boiled. He’d been doing so well with his anger management in the years that had gone by, and for some reason, that was the one thing that had threatened to set him off.

When she ran for it, he hadn’t even hesitated. He'd just shot up from the couch, head spinning, ignoring the questions and swears from his peers as he sprinted off behind her.

She was a fast runner, but so was he. He’d managed to keep up with her, and was so close to yelling her name, when she began to levitate off of the ground and he couldn’t fucking believe his eyes.

He instantly recognized the feeling the air omitted around him. It was the same tingly sensation that his mother gave off when she’d projected- but this wasn’t a tingle. His skin was vibrating, like he could feel himself about to disintegrate with every scream she let out.

Thinking fast, he’d pulled out his phone and snapped a video of her falling to the ground just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. And then- she started running. Further and further away.

She had been running from him. And, Ben Solo, who had never been one to chase a girl, raced after her as fast as his legs could take him.

And from that point on, he’d known.

Well, he knew just one thing: the reason why he’d been so enthralled with her from the beginning. He was certain there had to be something that tied them together.

She was a strong force, like himself. His mother had always told Ben that his grandfather would have been amazed at what he could do if he had met him. But he hadn’t done something of that scale in years- not ever since he’d suppressed it and built a cave in himself so deep that he couldn’t possibly fall back into aimless and uncontrollable destruction.

It had been a while since he’d been around psychokinetics of his own age. Leia had known many families around the world through the connections passed down of her parents, who would travel to America to meet with families such as them. They’d always bring their children, and Ben would make friends like himself. Sadly, those connections died when Leia did, mainly on his father’s wishes. As he put it, he ‘didn’t have to put up with spiritual crackpots’ anymore now that his wife was gone.

But no- it wasn’t just that they had a spiritual connection... it was something else as well.

When Ben would fuck a girl or, on occasion, date a girl, he’d pretty much think about her when she was there, and that would be it. As soon as she’d leave, his thoughts would return to his Xbox or the blunt on his dresser waiting to be smoked.

There was nothing he despised more than clingy girls. In which girls would send him countless strings of texts to the point where he would just ignore them, because he didn’t have time to read all of that shit.

Rey, on the other hand, barely texted him. And it bothered him too much for his liking.

He hadn’t even fucked her, much less dated her. The only thing that had come to close to intimate between the two of them was when they’d talked for hours on end when she’d stayed that night at his house.

That night was the most alive he’d felt in years. She was an angel that had fallen down from heaven, here to blanket him in a covering of comfort. And he’d wanted nothing more than to do the same for her, so he’d held onto every word she’d said.

And holy fuck, did it _hit_ him.

Ben wasn’t a stranger to the throes of infatuation, but he was always on the receiving end of it.

Now, he’d found out what it felt like when you needed someone so direly as if it were a life-or-death matter.

He’d soaked up every word that fell from her lips with utmost interest. He’d never, ever been too interested in what his friends had to say, even though he’d listen to be respectful. But he didn’t have to try and pay attention when she’d rambled on about the inner workings of celestial coordinates- which he understood roughly- because he cared. He genuinely cared, and he couldn’t figure out why.

He’d heard that falling in love was a beautiful, whimsical experience that could have you feeling emotions so intensely that you’d want to drown in the feeling forever.

That was bullshit. Ben had never resented his own feelings more in his own goddamn life.

Rey had left with him that morning to school and he’d been so careful to drop her off so no one would know she was with him- on her wishes, of course. She’d told him she would stay at her friend’s house in the following days, and to be honest, it hurt his feelings.

Yeah, _hurt his feelings._

Han would bark a laugh in his face if he’d heard that, telling him something he’d heard in one reworded form or another many times before, “Man up, Benny.”

Instead, he’d grunted as a signal of approval, doing his best to disguise his hurt when she’d told him.

In all honesty, he couldn’t blame her. The more he thought about the things he’d said from memory, the more he realized how much of a cunt he’d been. He’d been so focused on getting her eyes on him, that he hadn’t even thought about how what he said might’ve affected her.

And although it had only been a few days of it, he could tell the wounds weren’t shallow. He could tell that she wouldn’t forget how he’d made her feel in that classroom, while she sat alone and while he sat amongst his friends.

So he didn’t argue, obviously. It would make sense for her to not want to spend time with her... bully, over her best friend.

Bully. Was he a bully? It was such a juvenile word that he felt dumb pegging it on something more serious.

These thoughts were common. When he was at the gym, when he was playing video games, when he was eating, when he was with his friends. The thought would trickle into his mind and he’d automatically feel a burst of happiness from the reminder that Rey existed, followed by another reminder that he’d kicked her when she was down for the sake of his weird fixation with her.

He would always be the one to text her first, which he hated.

Because it was evident that she didn’t feel the same way. He’d been playing it cool, flirting as he always did but she wasn’t fawning over him like he had expected.

Maybe that’s why he was so fascinated.

Why would a girl not like him? Shit, even when he’d find a girl that wasn’t attracted to him, she’d fuck him for his money.

But no- she didn’t seem interested in the slightest. She was there to learn from him, that’s all- which was their agreement, after all. They hadn’t insinuated anything more.

It was just that Rey was so fucking perfect. She was intelligent, gorgeous, driven, interesting, etcetera. At first, he’d thought he was jealous of her, but then he’d pieced it together.

Ben had never really been rejected because he didn’t really have a chance to. Girls would always come to him. And, if he did take a chance, he’d pretty much always land the shot.

Now, he found a girl that didn’t want him.

But holy fuck, he wanted her _so bad._

It was sort of embarrassing in a way; it had been two days since she’d left, and although he was carrying on with his normal routine, he was thinking of her nonstop.

He’d think about her when he’d workout. He'd think about her whether he was skipping school or in school. He’d think about her when he would wake up in the morning. He’d think about her when he’d go to sleep.

And it was fine. It didn’t affect anybody, and he was allowed to wonder.

But there were certain times where he definitely should have cleared those thoughts from his mind. Actually, there was really only one situation he could think of where he shouldn’t have been thinking about Rey.

The situation in which you have your dick inside of another girl.

Just because he shouldn’t have didn’t mean that he refrained, of course.

His hips thrusted into her, and as the girl underneath him cried out, he landed a firm smack to her ass.

Bastila and him had been on and off friends-with-benefits for a few months now, and even though she was annoying, she was pretty hot- and brunette and around Rey’s height. Not that that meant anything.

_“Ben!”_ moaned the girl, “Fuck, Ben!”

For a moment, he imagined Rey’s little accent mewling his name as he pounded into her, her pretty face contorting with pleasure. Lips flushed, cheeks pink and her eyes screwed shut just for _him._ For only him. 

But then Bastila opened up her mouth again, and his daydream faded slightly.

_“Ben!”_ she repeated like a broken record.

“I’m close.” muttered Ben, holding her hips to keep her in place as he drove into her walls with a ferocity that had her yelling out once more.

“M-Me too- fuck!” she breathed out over her shoulder, losing her words when he sunk deeper with another thrust.

Ever the gentleman, Ben reached a hand down to meet her clit, feeling around for it before he found it to stimulate it. With the jagged toying of his fingers, she babbled a few more estranged moans before she spoke coherently again.

“I’m coming!”

Once he had felt her release, he took the chance to focus on his own pleasure for a minute as he thrust in and out a few more times.

He was losing himself, so close to the edge where it was all he could think about. He pumped his hand over his length after pulling it out of her, slapping it onto the crevice of her back so he could let go.

The feeling finally came, and as she laid there below him, panting, he closed his eyes and visualized for a moment. He’d painted a picture in his head: Rey sprawled beneath him bare, with pretty waves of brown hair feathered around her back as she looked back at him with those pretty hazel eyes.

“Mm, _Rey,_ fuck-”

“Um, what the fuck?”

He hadn’t even gotten a second to breathe after finishing before her voice yanked him out of his distorted reality. Collapsing onto the bed, his face turned to see her appearing extremely annoyed, but not because of what he had just unloaded all over her back.

_“Rey?”_ she repeated back to him bitterly. “You can’t even remember my name now?”

“What-?” croaked Ben. “Oh shit, my bad.”

“Your bad?” Bastila fumed, sitting up from where she was laying on the bed. “I get that I’m not your only booty call but you could at least have some fuckin’ respect.”

Ben forced an apologetic frown. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.” snipped Bastila. She swung her legs over to rise from the bed, heading to Ben’s bathroom to grab a fresh towel the maid had planted earlier. “What’d you even say again? Rey?”

“I can’t remember.” he mumbled back to her from the bed. He could hear her let out a dry laugh along with the rustling of a towel being thrown in the hamper.

She emerged from the bathroom, naked, heading directly to her clothes that had been tossed carelessly on the floor.

“Lucky girl.” Bastila commented bitterly, tugging her panties up to her hips before reaching for her pants. “I’m guessing she’s your current obsession? And then you’ll find a new whore once you’re bored with her?”

“Fuck off.” grumbled Ben, turning over in the bed so that he wasn’t facing her.

“No really, she must be _special.”_ the girl said with venom. “So maybe you should be fucking her instead.” 

Ben was getting a tad annoyed. “I can’t.”

Suddenly, the sounds of her redressing came to a stop and he heard her burst into a mocking laughter. “Oh, boo-hoo. Why not? She live across the country?”

“She goes to our school.” he corrected bluntly, rolling over in the tangle of sheets so he could face her sternly. “And I don’t want to fuck her, anyways.”

She pursed her lips. “Yeah, what just happened says differently.”

“It was a fucking accident!” Ben insisted as he ran a hand through his unkempt hair, “It slipped out.”

“I don’t think so.” Bastila pulled on her shirt, shooting him another glare. “Well, _figure it out._ Because I can put up with a lot of your shit, but not that.”

Trying to find anything to say, he opened his mouth but she had already disappeared out into the hallway to leave.

Heaving a groan, he palmed his hand over his face. Not because of how Bastila was offended or because she had left, but because he was coming to terms with the fact that his feelings for Rey were not going away anytime soon.

Rey. Rey, Rey, _Rey._

He missed her. He wanted to hear her talk about her academic obsessions or quip back and forth with her before collectively bursting into laughter. He could gladly listen to her laugh for hours on repeat.

What was she doing right now? What did she do today? Was she eating enough? Judging by her shithead of a foster parent, she obviously hadn’t been being taken care of, but he didn’t mind taking on that role.

It was Friday at nine p.m., so surely she’d still be awake. He typed out a greeting before erasing it and typing it out again. He repeated this another time or two, eventually settling on something and thumbing the send button.

**9:13: _Hey, you good?_ **

He anxiously checked his other notifications, scrolling on his Instagram feed. A picture of some girl on the cheer team hugging Bazine popped up and it made him a little bit sick. He exited the app and settled on getting up to take a shower.

Ben was just turning on the water when she replied. He walked back over to the bed, still naked, looking at the screen.

**9:15: _Yeah, thank you. How’s the party planning going?_**

Smiling down at her text, he moved his fingers across the keyboard to reply.

**9:16: _No party planning needed ;)_ **

**9:16: _I assume you’re coming_ **

She responded fairly quickly. The shower was still running but he didn’t pay it any mind.

**9:16: _No, I told you, the last party I went to didn’t go so well for me._ **

Still grinning, he sent back a sarcastic text.

**9:17: _Oh no what could have possibly happened? Too much jungle juice?_ **

He felt himself a tense up a bit at what she texted back.

**9:18: _Well, this guy sort of saw me go all freaky on these trees and blackmailed me into coming over his house._ **

Ben stared at his phone. Fuck. He had done that. This was another one of those instances where he’d had to revisit the truth of how bad he’d fucked things up with her.

He typed a string of words, but he really didn’t know what to reply with. He erased it and heaved a sigh.

What did he say to that? God, he never felt this way about a fucking text from a girl. It was dumb how much he cared.

Apparently he’d waited too long, because his phone began to vibrate with a notification that took up the entirety of the screen: incoming call from Rey.

His stomach flipped. Shit.

Once he’d picked up, he brought the phone to his face. “Uh, hey.”

Her voice came back a bit breathy and it nearly made him melt. “Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“I was just joking.” she told him. “I mean, the blackmail thing. I’m past it now- well, for the most part.”

Ben was speechless for another spell before he recollected himself again. “...Oh. Yeah. I’m... I’m really sorry, for that. I’m...shit. Look, I-I-”

“Why did you do that, though?”

Pausing for a moment, he racked his brain to put together an answer that could explain.

“I wanted to show you about me... too.” he answered honestly before pausing, trying to figure out how to put it. He continued, “I knew that if I told you right then and there, or if I’d just asked you to come over, you would’ve said no. You wouldn’t have believed me.”

Rey’s sigh came through on the other line. “Well, I... I probably would’ve, but still. Sorry- I know I said I forgave you and everything, but I still wonder why you did all of... _that.”_

“It’s okay.” Ben assured her. “I do too. All the time.”

Silence fell over her end.

“...Have you eaten today?”

She let out an awkward laugh. “Yeah, why?”

“Just wanted to make sure. You can always come back over if you need food. Or, y’know, anything. Just let me know.”

“Oh.” she said quietly. “Thank you.”

He adjusted the phone to hear her better. “No problem, Niima.”

“I told Rose.” stated Rey, catching him off guard.

“...Uh, what?”

“That I stayed at your house.”

“Like...wait, like... like _everything?”_

Rey giggled. “No, no. Um, I told her that I was tutoring you on request of our teacher and you offered me a place to stay that night. She wasn’t mad, like I’d thought. She wouldn’t stop interrogating me about every room in your house though.”

“Huh.” A grin crept up onto Ben’s face. “You should tutor me, actually. I could use it. In payment for me teaching you.”

“Excuse you,” Rey’s tone was sassy. “I would, but don’t think of it as repayment. I’d do it out of the goodness of my heart, Solo.”

Ben chuckled. “Obviously. Wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

“Well, I have movie night in ten minutes, so I’m going to go.” Rey spoke before adding, “Be safe tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” said Ben. “You know, you really should come. I won’t let anyone say shit to you... and you’re in way better control of yourself now.”

He could hear the stifled noise of exasperation she made. “With all due respect, the answer is no. But- thank you. I’ll be glad to come over sometime else.”

He had prepared for that to be her answer, but he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. “Well uh, you be safe too. Text me if you need anything.

“Thank you. I’ll talk to you later, then.”

“Goodnight, Rey.”

“...Goodnight, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3 i saw that i have 100 story subscriptions and it made my heart melt. okay, that is all. as always, feel free to comment any of your thoughts!!


	11. Takes Two to Tango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

It had taken a while to recant her censored story of everything that happened, but Rose thankfully didn’t ask too many questions. Mainly because she was honing in on one certain aspect even a day later. 

“We didn’t even sleep in the same hallway!”

“Which is what makes it weird!” countered Rose from inside of her closet, sifting through her countless clothes hangers. “I literally don’t even know if we’re talking about the same person anymore.”

Slumping on the bed, Rey scoffed. “Me neither.” 

“So he... served you, his _tutor,_ dinner, talked to you for hours into the night-”

“Well when you say it like _that-”_

“From what you told me, that is what happened.” Rose glanced back to Rey to shoot her a convictive eyebrow raise. “Not to mention the most important part, he didn’t even make a move on you!”

“Good God, the bar is low.” 

“Rey,” Rose tossed another skimpy top into her pile of might-wears. “We’re talking about Ben Solo here. I know you didn’t know, or probably care about him last year, but he’s sort of a player. Like, if he’s gonna give a girl his bougie ass dinner, he’s probably gonna sleep with her too. And most girls wouldn’t decline either offer.”

With a distasteful scrunch of her nose, Rey inquired rhetorically, “Why?” 

Rey could definitely see why. But Rose didn’t have know that.

“I mean, he’s sexy.” said Rose nonchalantly. “Muscles. Sharp jawline. Great hair. Plus he’s got money.”

_His voice is also panty-dropping hot._

“He’s kind of a twat though.”

Rose laughed. “Well yeah, that’s sort of a side effect of being good-looking and rich.” 

“I guess.” Rey turned over in the bed limply. 

From her closet, Rose continued to shuffle through outfits while Rey stared at the wall in thought. 

Maybe she was right; it was sort of weird that he’d been so nice to her, freak powers and all. Even then, she’d suspected it. He had to have an ulterior motive. 

“So you really don’t wanna go...?” 

“No,” groaned Rey. “I do not.” 

“I’m just saying,” Rose tried to reason with her, holding up a top to see if it would match the pair of pants in her opposite hand. “If you went, maybe you’d get a good chance to see if he’s really into you, I think you should g-” 

_“Rose.”_

“Okay, okay,” The girl held up her hands in mock defense. “You’ll still drive me though, right?” 

“Yeah.” Rey muttered. It was the least she could do in return for Rose letting her stay. “I’ll drive you.” 

“And you’ll come in to have a drinky-poo or two...?” 

“No.” 

After her fifth attempt at trying to convince Rey, the defeated sigh Rose let out was a good indicator that it would be the last. Now she had taken to changing into outfit after outfit to decide which one she would wear. 

Rey was being honest. She did not want to go to that party, and she had good reason. Unfortunately, Rose was left to guess because there was no way in hell that Rey would disclose what occurred last time. 

On the flip side, she somewhat did, but only for one reason that she was actively doing her best to suppress. 

Because of him. 

This feeling was slowly but surely gnawing away at her. It certainly wasn’t her first time having a crush, but at least her other attractions made sense. She did have a crush on Finn in freshman year, and she definitely was the only one. There was also a blond boy in her seventh grade english class as well that she crushed on for quite some time; he had a boyish cuteness to him and would sometimes brush past her when he walked by her desk. Then there was a boy in her sophomore year robotics club, who always treated Rey with respect, which many boys in STEM did not do. He was nice. He was smart. 

But Ben? She didn’t understand it at all.

Okay, sure. He was undeniably gorgeous- she’d give him that much. But most importantly, he didn’t care about school, he was a womanizer, and he was unbearably arrogant.

Well, that was she was trying to drill into her head, at least, because that’s the image that would hopefully drive the attraction away. It wasn’t a lie at least; people at school seemed to unanimously agree that Ben Solo was a little bit of a prick. 

But it was becoming harder and harder to attach those attributes to the Ben Solo that she knew. 

It was just that when he has revealed himself to her in his most vulnerable form, she couldn’t help but feel a pull towards him. He had saved her from Unkar, had offered her infinite nights of food and shelter, and had stood up to Bazine when he could’ve reverted to joining in and picking on her instead. 

But it seemed like no one else knew that Ben Solo.

Just like how no one knew the real Rey Niima.

Except for one person, that is. 

She knew he kept up a facade as a defense. And just because he had transformed into a good guy over the course of a few days didn’t give Rey amnesia from how he had acted before. Though, he did say he was sorry, but still. 

But it was strange; a week or so ago, a bubbling rage would’ve diluted her senses at the thought of the things he had said. Now that feeling had been replaced with almost... a sense of understanding with maybe a slight tinge of irritation. 

Regardless of all of that, crushes were normal. Heated, brief attractions were common for teenagers, and although Rey liked to think of herself as mature, she definitely was capable of falling victim to her emotions. But it would fade eventually. It’s not like she was in love with him or anything. 

Besides, she had more important things to focus on. 

They’d barely dove into any of millions of questions she wanted to ask him that night. It was fucking stupid that she’d wasted all of that precious time with him to unpack both of their life stories. But- then again, she didn’t really regret it; it was probably the most understood she’d felt since... well, _ever._

She’d have another chance to see him when he wasn’t intoxicated or stoned out of his mind. Hopefully that would be soon, because she definitely had progress to make. 

Rey, so deep in her thoughts, smiled and clapped politely at Rose’s outfit options as she displayed them in a make-do fashion show. She strutted around her room a few times while Rey willed herself to pay attention. Soon enough, she’d settled on a colorful ensemble that Rey had given an eager thumbs up on. 

It was a bit before midnight. Mr. and Mrs. Tico were already in bed, so Rose’s older college-aged sister, Paige, was the only one they came into contact with when they snuck downstairs to leave. As a farewell, she told Rose to “be safe and not get pregnant.” 

Luckily, Rey had been driving illegally since she was thirteen or so, so operating Rose’s Jeep wasn’t too difficult. Having an irresponsible caretaker had its perks sometimes, even if he usually made her walk places when he ordered her around. She didn’t mind anyways. His car smelled of cheap liquor and sweat. 

“I love those jeans on you. And that shirt.” admired Rose, giving Rey a once over while she pulled out of the driveway. “I really do have good taste.” 

Rey gave a short laugh, glancing down at the blue slouchy sweater. Rose always insisted on letting Rey wear whatever she wanted from her closet when she stayed over. “Well, don’t worry, I’ll give them back to you when I go back home.” 

“Oh, don’t worry about it Reyby. We haven’t been shopping in forever, you know- we should go get you some clothes.” 

A warm smile graced her face. “That sounds nice.” 

Rose’s face lit up at that for some reason. “Oh my god, do you know what that reminds me of? Homecoming is _literally_ less than a month away! I haven’t even picked out my dress yet!” 

Inwardly, Rey groaned. Homecoming wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but all it was was the PG version of the after parties that would follow after, which Rey would always skip. The two homecoming dances she’d been to had been less than impressive. Just horny teenagers grinding on each other and people screaming the words to whatever rap song was popular at the time. 

Maybe it would’ve been fun if she had someone to go with, but the only guy that had ever asked her was a boy in her history class in freshman year, but she declined. She had gone with Rose that year; that was somewhat fun. But sophomore homecoming was supremely underwhelming. 

Sure, she could ask someone. The thing was, was that she didn’t like anyone. 

Okay, well, maybe she did, but her pride was too important for her to ask him of all people. He probably had girls begging on their knees to go with them. 

“Oh... yeah.” said Rey, feigning interest. “What were you thinking?” 

“I don’t even _know!”_ Rose exclaimed. “OH-EM-GEE no- we should go homecoming _dress_ shopping together! That’d be so fun.” 

“...I don’t know.” Rey shrugged. “I might not go this year.” 

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her friend’s face drop in astonishment. 

“Rey!” chided Rose. “You’re allowed to skip house parties, but you _have_ to go to homecoming! We literally have like, only two of them left!” 

“But you’ll probably get asked like last year.” she reminded her, eyes still trained on the road ahead of her. “And I mean, I’d love that for you, but I don’t really want to third wheel again.” 

“Someone will probably ask you this year.” smiled Rose. “You never know.” 

Rey flipped the turn signal rather forcefully. “Yeah, I doubt it.” 

“You know, maybe if you let me help you with your... clothes and, makeup and stuff.” Rose offered with an oblivious smile. “Maybe then someone would ask you.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Rey questioned, turning the wheel. When she pulled into Jedison Estates, there were the rows and rows of the disgustingly stunning mansions she’d seen many a time before. 

Rose didn’t seem to pay any mind to Rey’s question. “Ooh! I can see the lights from here!” 

Rey drove down the maze of streets to where dozens of cars were crammed against each other in the dark night in front of the monster of a yard in front of the Solo house. Opposed to the calm daylight she had seen before, Ben’s house looked menacing in the midst of a party. There had to be three times as many people here than Bazine’s. 

Rose unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed her purse, blowing a kiss at Rey. 

“Be safe. Text me if you need anything.” 

“Sure, mom.” Rose playfully rolled her eyes. “I’ve survived many parties. I’ll be fine. But- I’ll text you when you should come pick me up, okay?” 

Rey nodded, still gripping the wheel. “Okay.” 

Watching her walk to the door, Rey regarded the house wistfully. She couldn’t help but wonder what Ben was doing right now. Drinking to black out? Smoking while surrounded by girls that looked like Playboy models? 

It didn’t matter, because she wasn’t going to find out, so she’d better just leave. 

Clutching the stick, she pulled it back so she could pull out without hitting the car in front of her that looked more expensive than all of the things she’d ever owned combined.

She’d been sitting for so long on the curb that the interior lights of Rose’s car had dimmed, and she could hardly see anything outside of the window up close. When she shifted her vision to the side, she let go of the stick abruptly with a sharp gasp. 

Rey nearly had heart palpitations. Her view of her door window was obscured by a shadowy figure that was too damn close for comfort. 

“Rey,” the figure’s muffled voice floated in from outside. “Open the window.” 

That voice was too recognizable to be missed. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking _shit._ Either her timing was eternally awful or whatever all-seeing entity existed really hated her. 

Wasn’t this his party? Why was he even out here? 

Should she drive away? No- she didn’t want to piss him off, but she thought he knew of her wishes to keep their public interactions little to none. Or preferably, just none. 

Rey waited a few seconds. Apparently not, judging by the way he wasn’t leaving. 

“Rey, open the goddamn window.” 

_This better be good._

Clicking the automated button on the side reluctantly, the interior lights illuminated Ben’s face that was only a few inches away from hers outside of the car. 

He didn’t even have a chance to speak before her. 

“What _is it?”_ snapped Rey. 

“You said you weren’t coming.” stated Ben dubiously.

“I’m not. I was actually just leaving.” 

Ben rested a toned arm on the side of the car so he could lean in, as if they already weren’t close enough. The faint scent of weed drifted in along with him.

“So you just wanted to drop by?” Ben arched an eyebrow in question. “This is your party, sweetheart. Threw it just for you.” 

“Ha ha.” deadpanned Rey with slitted eyes. “I was actually just dropping a friend off. I should get going.” 

A piece of dark hair fell in front of his crestfallen expression, but he masked it with an apathetic stare in less than a second. “Where are you going?” 

“Home. To my... my friend’s house.” she answered. “Where I’ve been staying.” 

“How about we go somewhere else?” 

“Uh... what?” 

Ben had a vacant expression. “Unless you want to come out.” 

“You’re joking, right?” 

Ben’s expression didn’t falter. “No.” 

“This is _your party._ At _your house.”_ stated Rey sharply. “You can’t just drive away. And we’re not supposed to be talking. I don’t want... I don’t want anyone to see.” 

Rey noticed someone wrestling someone on the ground in the yard, the two of the clearly drunk people flailing around in a heap while others danced around or cheered them on. Most of the people scattered around the yard didn’t even seem to notice. 

He let out a frustrated groan. “This little undercover mission of yours is dumb as fuck. What will happen if I talk to you right now? What could happen that is so fucking _bad?”_

“I don’t want to be labeled the school whore, because if I was with you, that’s what would happen, _Solo.”_ gritted Rey. 

His nostrils flared at that, and she could tell that that had cut a little deep. “Bazine’s not here. Phasma’s not here. No one would say shit. No one here even knows who you _are,_ Rey.” 

_Ouch._

Ben seemed to catch onto how that barb struck her the wrong way, but he couldn’t mend it fast enough because Rey was already opening her mouth. 

“Why do you even want to talk to me so bad?” Rey fired back, jutting forward aggressively. “You don’t think we can do this another time? Preferably inside when there aren’t _drunks_ fighting on your lawn?” 

His jaw locked a little bit and he ran a hand down his face before his eyes cut back to her. He was visibly pissed. “Fine.” 

“Ben-” Rey tried to scold, but he was already walking over to the other side of Rose’s car. The door was already unlocked, so his large frame eased right in. Rey let out a shaky, angry breath as the door closed behind him. 

“If you don’t wanna be here,” said Ben. “-then let’s go somewhere else.” 

“I never said I was taking you anywhere.” Rey said, staring straight ahead to avoid his eyes. Taking a deep, angry breath, she bit out, “What is so important that you have to tell me right now? Why do you need to talk to me _so bad?”_

She hadn’t expected that to strike a nerve, but it did. Very harshly. 

“Holy _shit!”_ Solo burst out, voice booming. A loud, incredulous laugh of fury left him, “Because I fucking _like_ you, is that not reason _enough?”_

From the sheer volume of his words, Rey was speechless. Stunned, she turned her head to look in the opposite direction of where he was. The people on the lawn weren’t scuffling anymore, but a hoard of people had taken to playing a drinking game in the grass. 

What the fuck was he playing at? 

He liked her? Did he want to be her _friend?_

He’d said it before, and she hadn’t thought too much of it. Now, it was too out of place to be ignored. She didn’t get it. Why did he like her? Bazine was right. She had to be. 

She’d asked him about it, but she was still confused. It made no sense. 

He’d only bullied _her._ He’d gone out of his way to take his anger out on _her._

\- 

_“The more I think about it, the more I don’t know. What bothers me is not that you’re smarter than me, it’s... something else.”_

\- 

But he wasn’t jealous. 

It was something else. 

Taking notice to her silence, he spoke again, in an irritated mumble this time, “..Look, Rey-” 

His sentence came to an abrupt end when she whipped around to face him. 

“Why did you hate me? Give me an honest answer.” Rey’s voice cracked like her throat was closing in on itself. 

Ben’s reply was quick and firm. “I didn’t hate you. I told you that.” 

“Then _why?”_

Rey’s breaths were getting and heavier and heavier. Her lungs couldn’t breathe in air fast enough, and she felt that familiar, terrifying tingle. 

“Why what?” inquired Ben when she didn’t follow it up with anything else. 

The car felt like it was going to compress her. The sudden need to cry wasn’t exactly in her favor either, not to mention that she was still sitting outside of Ben Solo’s damn lawn outside of his damn house party with him in the damn seat next to her. 

The husky rasp of his voice came back lower when he prodded, “Why what? Say it.” 

Rey was successful in holding back her tears, but the words were still hard to get out. 

“Why... Why did you...” Rey managed before spitting it all out at once, “Why did you antagonize me?” 

Getting those words out released a little pressure. Thank God; she wasn’t sure that she wanted to shatter Rose’s car windows or pop her tires. 

Maintaining his stone-faced expression, Ben leaned in closer- but not by much considering that his large frame already had that affect- and sucked a barely audible breath in slowly. 

“Rey,” he said, eyes hazy. “I told you.” 

“You said it yourself.” Rey choked out. “You said that it was something else. You weren’t... weren’t jealous of me.” 

Ben rubbed his jaw, drawing in a deep breath. 

“Do I have to say it? I would think someone as smart as you would know.” 

“I... what?” 

“You know why. Deep down, you do. You just want me to say it.” 

“No,” breathed out Rey, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “I don’t. I don’t know.” 

“I was fascinated...” said Ben, eyes locked on hers. “...when I first saw you. I liked you.” 

Her teeth were bared, “That’s a shit excuse.” 

Despite her temper, he remained calm. His eyes flickered down to her lips, but she barely caught it, for they were back up at her eyes in a glimpse. 

“It’s not an excuse.” Ben calmly said, “It’s just the truth. I was just a dumbass about it. I... uh, sort of thought we were flirting.” 

Rey’s expression lightened ever so slightly. 

“You... insulted me to flirt with me?” 

Grimacing, Ben gave a nod, “More or less.” 

Vision blurred, she looked to the side to collect her thoughts. Ben watched her intently. 

“You didn’t even know me, how could you like me?” 

“I mean... ” Ben trailed off for a second. “When the feeling comes, you just know.” 

Rey’s eyes widened when it had finally clicked. It was as if she was frozen; there was no way he could be implying what she was thinking. No way. No fucking way. She had to be reading too much into it. Rose couldn’t have been right. 

“When you first saw me?” A blush dusted Rey’s cheeks. “I... I don’t understand.” 

“Rey,” Ben’s face budged closer to her own, and even while sitting down she still had to crane her neck to look at him. “I want you and only you.” 

She couldn’t get a single sound out. She just gaped. Gaped as if he had just told her he had stabbed someone or ran a person over with his Bugatti or something. 

He was messing with her. 

She pulled away but she found the back of her head bumping into the side of the car’s interior. “...I’m not falling for this.” 

“You think I’m lying?” His eyebrows furrowed and instinctively, he moved closer. Boxing her in. 

Breathlessly, she nodded, “Surely.” 

When his hand lifted to her face, a pleasant tremor crawled on her skin from the warmth. She didn’t dodge it. She didn’t swat his hand away. She just let him cup her cheek, the sounds of her heavy breathing filling the air. 

“I’m not lying. I never lied to you.” 

Rey gulped. “How could I know?” 

In the scarce lighting, she searched his face for an answer, any sign of visible deception. What she saw instead was a dark, yet not deceitful shine in his eyes that made her heart skip a beat. 

Full lips, enticingly parted. The tip of his tongue dipped out to wet them and that was the last thing she saw before he began to close the bridge between them and eclipsed the little lighting there was. 

Rey couldn’t ever remember a time in her life when her mind had completely blanked; there was always one or two thoughts swimming in her mind, accompanied by needless background thoughts. 

But when he brought his opposite hand to cradle the other side of her face to aid in pressing his lips onto hers, she blanked entirely. It was as if her frozen, tense muscles had been unlocked by his lips, which she didn’t hesitate to melt into. 

The pain had washed away. With his touch, she felt like nothing could hurt her. He made her invincible. 

In contrast to how rough his hands were, his lips were as soft and pillowy as she’d expected. And as they moved against hers, the earthy taste combined with his musky, leathery scent sent her senses into overdrive. 

She certainly didn’t miss the way his eyes immediately caught hers when they finally drew apart, and he broke into a shining smile- a wholesome smile of pure joy as if he’d been waiting for that moment his entire life. 

Not a smirk, not a sneer; a smile. A bright, innocent smile that looked really, really good on him. 

Rey found herself smiling too, but it began to gradually fade when her fuzzy mind recollected itself. 

Holy shit. 

She just kissed Ben Solo- actually, no, Ben Solo just kissed _her._

And she _liked it._

Bazine really was right. 

How fucking gullible was she? 

She should’ve known. That’s all he’d kept her around for. That kiss was just a prelude to what he truly wanted: sex. 

There had to be a reason for his stigma, after all.

And like a complete idiot, she’d let him. She’d kissed him back and he’d probably known that she would, because who wouldn’t want to kiss him? 

Well, Rey decided it wouldn’t go any further. She couldn’t allow her irrational heart take control like she just had. Bad things happened when she did. 

Even though she really, really wanted to kiss him again. 

...No. No, she didn’t. She wouldn’t fall for him. 

Stiffening, she retracted and looked away from him. “I have to go home.” 

The smile had instantly disappeared at that. Now perplexity was written across his gorgeous face, and it broke her heart a little, but she pushed the hurt away. Like always. 

“Rey...” mumbled Ben, bringing a hand back up to her chin so he could tilt her head to look at him. “Rey?”

Gently, she moved her head to escape his grasp so she didn’t have to face him when he spoke softly, 

“Baby, look at me.” 

That name punched her right in the gut. 

Nobody had ever called her that. Nobody had ever referred to as anything remotely close to something so endearing, so sweet, so borderline _romantic._ He sounded genuinely confused as if he was actually being sincere. 

But she knew better. 

“Please,” choked out Rey. “Get out.” 

The five seconds of silence that passed between them were excruciating. 

Eventually came the small click of the door being opened, followed by the noises of clothes rustling as he got out. Wordlessly. 

The door slammed behind him, so hard that she was sure he might’ve broken it. 

Her heart rate skyrocketed. Still, she sat there, unmoving. 

As he moved, he projected a type of controlled, bridled rage that gave her goosebumps. That tingle on her skin was back, but it felt... _different._ Something had changed. 

Her eyes were glued on him as he walked away from outside of the window, storming past the red cups that littered his yard and the hundreds of people who had put them there. 

And when he was already too far away, a sickening regret seeped into her head that made the tears finally fall out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! i’m dying to know what y’all think of this chapter. your comments last time were great, i read every one of them at least three times lol <3


	12. Unravel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e·nig·ma  
> /iˈniɡmə/  
> noun  
> a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

Ben wanted to fucking _punch somebody._

He’d only had a few hits. There’s no way that he could’ve misread the goddamn situation so wrong. 

Had he really fucked it up _that_ bad?

Apparently fucking so.

His feet stomped up the path, his face hot and probably flushed bright red from the unstoppable rage that was welling up inside of him.

The two entrance doors were already opened when he reached the front of the porch. A different voice called out his name in a whistle, somewhere in the yard. 

But he just pushed through the doors, uncaring of who he plowed through.

“Watch where you’re fuckin’ going!” yelled a short guy with a Natty Light in his hand, a girl under his arm. Ben shot him the finger about a centimeter away from his face and that seemed to scare him into servility. Fucking _prick,_ bitching at him in his own house. He would’ve given the guy a black eye if he wasn’t in such a hurry.

Of course, more people were calling him, as it was his party after all, but he ignored them, making a bee-line to the back of the house. 

Call him crazy, but Ben didn’t like being scared. And when this feeling had arose, this awful feeling that was almost an old friend, he was utterly horrified. 

He heard his mother’s voice in his head, _just take deep breaths, honey. Nothing can hurt you. I’m here. I’m here._

But it was worse than it had been in a long time. For so many years had this feeling been dormant, but now it had returned for...

_her._

He’d reached the upper east wing hallway and nobody had taken the initiative of following him, thank fuck. Now he was alone, and he knew exactly where to go.

The timeout room was what Leia had referred to it as when Ben was younger. Which was pretty much the code for “the place toddler Ben would go when he didn’t get his way so he wouldn’t start a fire”.

It just so happened to be the room where Rey had practically held his hand in after he ranted about how much he sucked compared to her, like a pussy. Not that that mattered. 

Now, though, Ben would’ve been grateful if he could’ve just ignited an easily curable flame. Right now, he honestly felt like he could set this entire house on fire if he truly didn’t hold back- but he couldn’t, obviously. Not only were there a good thousand people in it, but Han would fucking kill him.

Yanking the door handle, he pulled himself into the empty room and did his best to cool himself off, but his body didn’t seem to be so compliant. So he let himself go with little restraint.

His fist shot out to hit the wall, and he immediately felt the wall crack and cave in underneath it. 

Following the connection of his hand to the wall came the shitty part: the psycho part in psychokinesis.

A gaping hole that nearly stretched from the floor to the ceiling and wall-to-wall crumbled out after his fist. The mini-fridge in the corner toppled over from the impact of the falling debris. Ben took a step back as his eyes glazed over his work in disbelief. 

Fuck.

Drops of blood dripped down his knuckles. Panting, he did his best to wipe them on his the fabric of his jeans- which were fortunately black- but it just seared the open skin. A groan of pain escaped him.

Fatigue overwhelmed him in a trice, and with all of the strength he could muster, he crumpled to the floor and let his heavy breaths carry themselves out.

What the fuck was happening?

It had to be her that was causing this. He’d... been this degree of emotional before, but not in years. 

Compared to what Rey could do, though, what he had just done was light work. Jesus, he should probably call her to tell her what happened. Maybe she knew some things that he didn’t even if he was more experienced, but- 

Of course, when something genuinely serious just happened, all he could think of was Rey. 

Rey, Rey, Rey. 

If he were being honest, that kiss was still more significant than the whole fiasco that he just pulled off. 

He replayed the sequence of events over in his head, desperately trying to grapple at the mistake he made, because it was seriously plaguing him. 

Okay, so first he’d taken a few hits of Pryde’s pen. Big deal; he had a high tolerance- oh shit, could Rey tell that he was a little high? God, he fucking hoped not.

Then he’d seen her... by chance. He’d only been out in the yard for five minutes when he’d spotted her, and he knew that it had to be some sort of sign. It couldn’t have been a coincidence. She’d sat in that car, watching his house from the curb for too long, as if she was waiting for... someone.

For him, he had figured. 

Judging by the way everything went, definitely not.

But he had missed her, so bad, and he was stupid enough to think that she felt the same way.

Really, _really_ fucking stupid. 

Suave was his middle name. Reading girls and taking cues from them were his goddamn bread and butter- so how had he messed it up so badly with Rey?

Well, to be fair, he’d sort of yelled at her. He didn’t mean to- it’s just that he got a bit frustrated, because he hated articulating how he truly felt about her. When she’d kept asking him over and over why he wanted to speak with her, she almost seemed angry, which in turn made him angry. He didn’t know it was such a fucking crime to want to hang out with someone you liked. 

Then again, she was frustrated with him too, so maybe he wasn’t alone in that. 

Really, Ben didn’t mind that she was upset with him, because she had reason. He wanted to answer every question she had, and tell her every little thing that she wanted to know concerning him. 

But in the glow of the car’s patchy light, she was so beautiful. So angelic. So doe-eyed, effusing innocence. If he hadn’t been sure about his feelings for her before, in that moment he knew that he was a total goner. 

He’d taken a look at her lips. She caught a glance of his. The fluttering of butterflies in his stomach had made him a little floaty, like a little schoolboy bitch. 

The moment. It just... felt _right._

He’d touched her face, drew her in, but she didn’t push him off. In fact- her tiny breaths had quickened and she’d leaned in like she wanted it just as badly as he did. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have assumed- but it was too late now. 

She even kissed him back. Isn’t that the most direct sign of being able to tell if someone is into it?

And her smile when they broke apart.

Her beautiful, beautiful smile. Like a ray- or Rey- of sunshine. He couldn’t help but be giddy himself, breaking out into a dopey grin of his own.

Then it had all gone to shit. 

What happened? What had he done? Did he say something in the spur of the moment that he couldn’t remember?

Now he’d never know. Because like the true fucking idiot he was, Ben Solo managed to ruin any good thing with the one person he actually, genuinely liked. Not to mention the only person alive that he could relate to about the curse he had.

Except for Uncle Luke, but he didn’t count. His abilities had fizzled out on his own accord more than a decade ago. He hadn’t helped him since he was a child. 

No, Rey was so much more; she was a gift. He wasn’t even religious, but she was a gift from above. A gift from the heavens that he had tarnished in two goddamn weeks.

 _Nice going, Ben._

He hated caring. He hated caring about every little thing she did or every little thing she thought.

He hated caring about the way she had unknowingly lit a flame in his heart before drenching it with cold water and ripping it out of his chest, just to stomp on it.

Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic.

But that was the only way to put it into words. His heart didn’t even feel like it was in his body anymore. It was like he could feel its’ beat, but he was holding it in the palm of his hand.

Damn, he _really_ needed a drink.

Han often had that attitude as well. Like father like son, some would say. Ben liked to believe that’s where the similarities ended. 

He took another look at the crumbled wall which revealed his mother’s long forgotten sewing room next door through the hole. This would be a hard one to explain to his father- 

But he had bigger plans right now. Besides, he’d bet that Han probably wouldn’t even notice it for six months. 

Creeping out of the room, he made out for the outer area that would be filled with people and most importantly: substances that would help him forget the dumpster fire that had just unraveled with the girl of his dreams.

Girl of his dreams?

Ben chuckled at himself as he paced along the hallway. It was definitely the weed. He wasn’t thinking straight.

Soon enough, he had filtered out into the main floor with the entrance doors. Of course, as soon as he came into view, a shit ton of people instantly spotted him, only to flood around him in earnest. He did his best not to snap at them and tell them to fuck off; he really wasn’t in the mood right now, even non-sober. 

“Solo, my man!” yelled a guy in the clutter of people with a beer can in his hand. Ben couldn’t place his name. Or his face, for that matter. Probably just one of those dick-riding bastards who had come to leech. 

“Hey man, what’s up,” Ben forced a tight smile and gave the ‘bro-nod’ to him. “Glad you could make it.”

A few other people took it upon themselves to congratulate Ben on his beast of a party, which he dismissively thanked them for. At least someone had mixed him a drink. He was already half way done with it, doing his best to keep his mind off of Rey when Armitage’s bright flaming head of hair caught his eye.

And he happened to be strutting right towards him. “Bro, where’ve you been? We were trying to find you. A few of us about to play some games upstairs, and you’re the man of the house, so...”

Drinking games. That’s good. Drinking combined with something frivolous to get his mind off of the Rey situation.

“Oh yeah, yeah,” agreed Ben. “I’m down. In the rec room?”

“Yeah, we got the beer pong table set up.” said Armitage before chuckling, “Bro, you should’ve seen Canady’s fucking face during Beer Blow. Dude was so plastered he could hardly handle one card.”

Ben laughed, feeling a little bit more light-headed.

The rec room was already filled with a dozen or so people, sprawled around the couches that had dribbles of liquor down the sides. Whatever, the help would clean it up by tomorrow.

His eyes scanned over the room, and he found an empty seat on the couch next to none other than Phasma, who he wasn’t exactly fond of, especially right now.

Still, he sat down as it was pretty much the only place available. Without making eye contact, he greeted monotonously, “Phasma.”

A beer bottle escaped her lips. “Solo.”

He didn’t even have a chance to come up with something snarky to shoot at her, because another person was already grabbing his attention.

“Benji!”

He didn’t even try to hide the roll of his eyes when he felt the busty girl jump onto his lap, straddling him in a hug that was too close for comfort.

Rae Sloane and Ben had hooked up two- maybe three, if he could remember- times before, and it seemed like she got even more annoying every time she made him come.

Tonight would not be an additional time, he knew that much. He was too sad to get it up... amongst other reasons. 

Ben nudged her away to give her a hint, “Chill, Sloane. Not in the mood.”

“Aw, _Benji,”_ Rae lit up into a devilish smirk as she arched her hips to press herself into his groin. “Maybe not right now, but I know you will be _later.”_

Agitated, he glowered at her before giving her another shove of warning. “Get the fuck off of me.”

Like a wounded puppy, the girl’s face fell in surprise, and she hesitantly climbed off of his lap. Before she sauntered away, she glanced back over her shoulder at him, but he didn’t pay her any mind.

“Never seen you turn down someone so willing like that.” observed Phasma in her typical mechanical tone. “You forgot to take your boner pills, I assume?”

“No, did you?” Ben fired back. Phasma returned that with a cold glare before looking away to gossip with the girl on her other side. 

Ben finished a second solo cup of whatever awful soda-whiskey combination someone had handed him, and was already beginning to drift further from the stupid kiss. Stupid, _stupid_ kiss that he totally didn’t care about in the slightest. 

He was Ben fucking Solo, respected by pretty much every kid in the school, or at least feared. Girls were jumping on him, eager to suck him off. He didn’t care. Not about some stupid kiss. 

He wouldn’t trip over a girl; he never did. 

That’s what he told himself, anyway. 

“Alright, who’s down for some Never Have I ever?” a girl under Armitage’s arm shouted, prompting enthusiastic hollering from the few other people in the room. In an instant, everyone began to shuffle into a circle.

Ben was just the right amount of buzzed to loosen up in a game like this, so he scooted to the front of the couch eagerly. A good distraction was just what he needed. 

“I’m not playing.” announced Phasma, leaning back.

“Oh, I’ll play!” Ben heard a familiar voice say. His head shot to the left, and his eyes immediately fell on Bastila who was at the very opposite end of the long couch.

Another girl was seating herself between two more people in the ring of players, and Ben could’ve sworn that he had seen her naked in the back of his car at a football game. 

_Great, a room full of his hook-ups._

When everyone had gotten situated, Phasma had walked to sit by some other girl so Armitage could take her spot. Ben certainly didn’t mind; if anything, Armitage was the only person he considered tolerable or borderline likable in this room.

“Ah, gimme that,” chuckled the redhead as he stole Ben’s empty cup to fill it up with a liquor bottle perched on the floor by the couch.

“Thanks, man.” Ben smiled dazedly as he downed a quarter of the new drink. This game was going to be fun. Parties were fun. He was fun. Everyone was here because he was fun. 

“Who should go first?” A guy Ben didn’t know asked.

“Oh, I’ll go.” Enric Pryde spoke up before pausing to think. “...Okay, uh... ooh- never have I ever blew coke off of my best friend’s tits.”

That was a direct target, and everyone who had been to Ben’s parties before knew exactly who had pulled that stunt.

Every set of eyes fell on Bastila, and she giggled, the ever-loving attention whore. Even tipsy, Ben found her to be utterly fucking annoying. He had no idea why he’d even slept with her once. 

It seemed like every girl annoyed him more and more lately.

Except...

_No. Don’t think about that. Have a good time._

“Guilty as charged!” Bastila beamed, putting down a finger. Laughter echoed throughout the room. Ben took another swig of his drink.

“Okayyy...” drawled Bastila. “Never have I ever...”

The whole room waited in anticipation as she looked up at the ceiling, brainstorming.

To Ben’s confusion, her eyes fell on him. And the look she was giving him certainly wasn’t one of mercy.

“Never have I ever said someone else’s name while I was having sex with someone.”

All heads turned to look at Ben, thanks to how indiscreet Bastila had been with her glaring. You could hear a pin drop from how uncomfortably quiet it had gone.

Weren’t games supposed to be fun? 

“Ben,” she sing-songed and her frown curled up into a sickening, malevolent smile. “Put your finger down.”

_Play it cool._

“It happens,” shrugged Ben nonchalantly before lowering a finger. A few of the guys in the room found that funny, but the tension in the room had barely dissolved. 

When he was trying to remind himself that at least it couldn’t get worse, a high-pitched cackle caught his attention. 

Fucking _hell._

“Oh my god, what?” she laughed. 

As soon as their eyes locked on either side of the room, her expression contorted into that of a snake about to strike. 

Holy fuck.

No, no, no.

Could he ever catch a goddamn break? 

“The fuck are you doing here, Netal?” His face went sour at her. She must’ve snuck in, there’s no way she was there five minutes ago-

“Having fun.” she snarked. “But please, do tell more about your little sexscapade with Bastila.” 

It seemed that Ben and Bazine had made a silent deal to not mention what had gone down with Rey after class that one day. For one thing, it would embarrass the hell out of Bazine and that was worse than death to her. The most important thing was that it would also bring Rey into all of this. So, as much as he wanted to banish her, he didn’t. For Rey. 

“I’m good, you fuckin’ creep.” declined Ben, draping an arm over the back of the couch while splaying his legs wider, getting comfortable as he desperately tried not to cuss her out right then and there. “Go find your storytime porn somewhere else.” 

The corners of Bazine’s mouth tightened and her eye twitched, but she maintained a smirk. 

“So what did he say exactly?” Bazine turned to face Bastila who was sitting opposite of Ben on the couch, obviously enjoying all of the eyes on her. A lump caught in Ben’s throat, but he restrained himself from speaking. 

Leaning forward to meet her eyes from down the couch, he gave her a silent plea of _‘please don’t say a word’,_ but Bastila gave him the cold shoulder. Didn’t even look in his direction. 

The whole room was chattering amongst themselves in hushed whispers, and so many stolen glances at Ben were being made that he wanted to punch another wall. Preferably without the entire wall crumbling, though. 

Bastila seemed to ponder for a moment, “Oh yeah, what was it?” 

Ben had had enough, “C’mon, don’t be an a-”

“Oh, _right!_ Rrr... Rey, that’s it.” 

Suddenly, the room was dead silent again. With the twelve or thirteen people that were in it, the murmurs that were being beginning to be exchanged now were even worse than before, as they were barely audible. Like they were trying to talk about him as if he wasn’t there. 

The rest of Ben’s third cup went down the hatch at that. Even though the cup obscured his view, just the laughter from Bazine and Phasma still had him heating up with rage. 

Surprisingly, Armitage was the first to speak up, only so Ben could hear him, 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, bro.” 

“She’s... wrong.” Ben choked a little on the alcohol. “I got with a Rebecca not too long ago, she was probably-” 

_“Rey?!”_ Bazine was howling with laughter. “Rey _Niima?”_

“Who’s that?” Someone whispered. 

This was bad. Really, _really_ bad. 

God... if _Rey found out..._

He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the tragedy that was unfolding, but he had a sudden urge to throw up. 

“...No.” shot back Ben with confidence, squaring his shoulders. “She heard it wrong, I didn’t-” 

Bastila popped up again from the other end of the couch to give him a bitter smile. “No, pretty sure it was Rey. Am I supposed to know this Rey?” 

“You don’t know who he’s talking about?” Phasma inquired in disbelief. 

“Who’s Rey?” another person asked. The whispers were back. 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 

Ben couldn’t run. That’d just make everything worse. 

He’d just have to talk his way out of this. 

While tipsy and sort of stoned. 

“Rey Niima’s this little poor orphan girl who lives on those apartments on fifth.” Bazine announced to Bastila, and basically the entire room. “She’s a know-it-all uptight shithead, that sort of person. Apparently she’s a slut too-”

“Shut your whore _mouth.”_ seethed Ben through gritted teeth rather loudly. “Leave the girl alone. I didn’t say her name during sex- Bastila’s fucking lying.” 

“Oh, really?” Bazine spoke. “Sounds pretty in character for when you _specially_ invited her to your party- this party, to be exact.” 

His glare was deadly, but he kept his mouth closed while his teeth ground against each other like they were trapping the words that wanted to come out. 

Bazine took the opportunity, “What, she didn’t come? Oh, that’s sad. Guess you can’t fuck everyone, huh?” 

Well, fuck what he had thought about the silent deal bullshit. 

He’d play just as dirty as she did. 

Passing a hand through his hair, the room was so immersed in the drama unfolding to the point where it felt like it was just a one-on-one argument. 

“You’re a cunt,” Ben snapped. “I invited her cause she’s a decent fuckin’ person, unlike you.” 

Now it was Bazine’s turn to glare at him in silence, and just like she had done, he continued with a snarl, 

“And, come to think of it, I didn’t actually fucking invite you, Netal. Because I don’t want my house to have a rat problem.” 

From the spark that flickered in Bazine’s eyes, he knew that she knew exactly what he was referencing. But they wouldn’t acknowledge it. No, they wouldn’t. 

Everyone in the room was wide-eyed. Even the air around them felt tense. 

“Whatever.” she hissed. “I already fucked up one of your guest rooms.” 

Abruptly, she shot up from the couch, purposefully kicking over a stray drink on the floor.

_“Asshole.”_

And with that, she strode out of the room, probably to go beg some other guy for dick. Ben didn’t care. She was gone, and that’s all that mattered. 

He was pretty sure the game had ended now, though. 

“Ugh.” Sloane broke the thick silence that was still hung over the room. “Vibe ruined.” 

Slouching against the couch, Ben was glad when it only took less than ten seconds for the rest of the room’s inhabitants to disperse into their own conversations. Although he was probably the main focus of their gossip, but it definitely wasn’t his first rodeo. The alcohol was definitely aiding him in his ability to not give a shit. 

“Bruh,” Armitage said, and Ben hadn’t even remembered he was there. “What was all of that about?” 

“Rumors.” replied Ben. “We... we got any more a’ that Crown?” 

With reluctance, Hux picked up a bottle of a nearly emptied Crown Royal that was sitting on the floor. 

“Do you have anything to tell me?” Armitage tipped the bottle into the red cup. “Like, we’re pretty tight, right? You can tell me shit.” 

“Yeah, man.” Ben didn’t even add anything to the whiskey before taking a big gulp. It tasted like water. “Sure. I’d... I’d say so.” 

“Alright.” He wasn’t convinced. “...So did you really bang that Rey chick?” 

“No.” answered Ben truthfully, his words threatening to slur. “I don’t know why Bazine’s so fucking obsessed... w-with her. Like... uh, ever since she saw her at her party a few weeks back... she’s been weird. A total bitch.” 

“Girls.” sighed Armitage, as if he understood. “So complicated.” 

Ben’s vision blurred a little. “Yeah... guess so.” 

Rey. 

Fuck, he was digging himself into a deeper hole with her by the minute. 

That’s all he could think about. He couldn’t even try and stop it anymore; it was like the harder he tried to avoid thinking about her, the worse the pain was. 

He wasn’t even pissed that Bazine had come even though he’d explicitly told her not to. He was pissed because she had brought Rey into it. 

Sweet, sweet Rey. 

Sweet Rey who had kissed him, rejected him, and made him so angry that he had lost control of himself for the first time in years. 

And it made him furious. 

But he wasn’t mad at her, no. 

He didn’t even know if it was possible to be mad at her. 

Ben just wanted to know what he’d done wrong. He so desperately wanted to text her or call her, begging for a second chance. He wouldn’t do it again. He wouldn’t, even if all he wanted was to be as close as humanly possible to her. 

Ben never enjoyed kissing. Like- his body count was high, and he gave and received a lot of hickeys, but kissing on the mouth wasn’t really his thing. If a girl initiated it, he wasn’t opposed to it, but he rarely found himself wishing that he could do that when he could just get a blowjob or eat a girl out. 

With Rey, he finally understood why kissing was appealing. Just one look at those soft, dewy lips and he wanted to mold his own lips against them until they were one. 

And he’d gotten that chance, and it was so... _what was the word...?_

Romantic. 

Really, it felt like he owned the entire world in those glorious moments. Real sparks, like she was just as enthralled with him as he was with her. 

But he’d gotten it all wrong. 

That face when she’d they’d pulled apart; she was so happy- she fucking smiled at him. That beautiful, white-toothed smile that made his heart swell like never before. 

But then she’d told him to get out. She didn’t even look at him, and he couldn’t even ask what he had done wrong. Was it the kiss? Was that where it had gone to shit? 

To be fair, maybe she still hated him, as much as he didn’t want that to be the case. Maybe she would never like him, much less love him. He was a fucking dumbass for thinking anything of the sort after the first impression he had made. 

Whatever. It didn’t matter; he could get any chick he wanted, he didn’t have to have her. In fact, he could probably go find some girl right now and bone her. 

Unfortunately, Ben Solo had never been so un-fucking-horny in his life. Your crush rejecting you? Sort of a death to the libido. 

And he didn’t want anyone else. Unlike before, he could fill the void of Rey with other girls, but now, it wasn’t the same. He _wanted_ her- and not to hit it and quit it, no, he wanted to do whatever she wanted to do. He wanted to cuddle with her and hear her talk about the stars and pet her hair and kiss her again. 

The thing was, it seemed like what she wanted to do was to stay far, far away from him. 

Ben demanded the bottle on the floor non-verbally with a coax of his hand. Armitage passed him a different bottle with darker liquor, and this time he drank straight from the bottle. 

Everything would fade away soon. Rey, Bazine, this party, his weird mind destruction powers, all of it. 

Another few swigs would do the trick. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls mind the tags:  
> \- ben solo is not nice  
> \- ben solo is a mess
> 
> he is not a dreamboat prince charming!! he is a white boy who punches holes into walls!! just a reminder. bendemption is a slow process 
> 
> also THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE COMMENTS LAST CHAPTER!! the love for it was so sweet and i hope y’all enjoy this one <3 as always, tell me what you think. i love hearing your thoughts


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